


Not Exactly Casanova

by psychicdreams



Category: Firefly
Genre: Drama, Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-21
Updated: 2014-05-14
Packaged: 2018-01-24 17:58:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 30,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1614149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychicdreams/pseuds/psychicdreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Six months after Miranda and things have finally begun to settle down. Things are going fine in Simon's life, he's content for the most part, and then Mal shakes it up by having Jayne teach him a new card game.</p>
          </blockquote>





	1. Not Exactly Casanova

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Six months after Miranda and things have finally begun to settle down. Things are going fine in Simon's life, he's content for the most part, and then Mal shakes it up by having Jayne teach him a new card game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Regarding the card game: Um...it's completely made up? I couldn't use the one in the show because I needed it to be something Simon didn't know. ^^;;

“Would you stop fidgeting?” Simon told Jayne for the third time as he attempted to sew up a knife wound on the mercenary's arm. As usual, despite his irritation, his voice was calm, almost serene, and not a twitch of his slightly intense expression changed. Being a trauma surgeon and seeing plenty of emergencies, he had perfected the art of remaining calm in the medical bay.

“Could you hurry it up already?” Jayne spat back, not enjoying being cooped up alone with the doctor. The silence was starting to get to him.

“It will be done when it's done,” Simon retorted, taking a moment to roll up the sleeves of his soft and comfortable looking shirt again. While he didn't wear t-shirts like Jayne, he had stopped wearing button-ups and vests constantly when on the ship. His white surgical apron had a little blood on it, but surprisingly not much considering the gash that he was sewing.

There were a few moments of silence. Things had always been strained between Jayne and Simon since the beginning, which he had never quite figured out why. Simon had always figured that perhaps it was because Jayne just didn't trust anyone, but after all this time... Things had gotten a bit easier after Miranda, but it was nowhere near settled.

“Why do you still follow the captain?” he asked unexpectedly, surprising Jayne.

“Because I get paid good.”

The answer was shot back at him with Jayne's usual force, but Simon sensed that there was more to it than that. “That's it?”

“What more do you want to know?!”

“Well, surely you could have found others that would pay you more. As I've seen, this is not exactly a rich ship.”

Jayne frowned a bit, watching as Simon's eyes remained focused on the stitching. “...I respect him...to some extent.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“Is that it?”

“That's all you're gonna find out!”

Simon sighed a bit and proceeded to tie and cut the strips of stitching. “Be careful with that arm for a bit,” he told Jayne, knowing that likely his advice _wouldn't_ be followed. Stretching his arms a little, Simon turned and started putting his medical equipment away.

Jayne got up from the reclining chair and immediately headed for the door, pausing at the last minute. “Why do you?”

“Why do I what?”

“Why are you still here?”

“Besides still being wanted criminals and others just waiting to sell us out for the reward money?” Jayne shifted a bit in shame, remembering his own attempt to do so and the fact that they had nearly died trying to get out. “Like you, I respect the captain. This place has become...something of a home to River and I. I'm not that keen to leave it.”

“Che...” was the only answer Jayne gave back, as if he wasn't sure what else to say, and stalked off.

“How'd it go?”

Simon looked up at Kaylee, the ship's mechanic and his current girlfriend, peering through the doorway at him with that ever-present sweet smile. “He'll be fine,” Simon answered, smiling back a little. He knew that Kaylee liked him, but he wasn't sure why. No one had ever claimed that Simon was good with talking to women; in fact, he was impressively _bad_ at it. That was why he had rarely dated anyone. He liked Kaylee, he did, but he didn't think it was love. He failed to really feel passionate about her, like Zoe and Wash had about each other. They had always been getting into arguments and making up and really and truly making their marriage work, to his way of thinking. He had heard that Zoe had even wanted to have a child with Wash. That was love, and Simon knew it. Part of him wondered how Zoe was handling Wash's death six months ago, but likely the only person that really knew was Mal and even he didn't seem to know a lot. Or if he did, he wasn't letting on.

Kaylee came up behind him and hugged him, so he leaned back into her arms. “Well that's good. Maybe you two should actually talk sometime, so you can get along better.”

Yeah right, he thought.

~!~!~!~!~

Simon entered the galley and blinked as he saw Mal, Jayne, and Zoe staring fixedly at their cards and then at each other. It didn't look like any game he was familiar with and by the way they were playing it, he would have thought that someone's very life was at stake. Curiously he wandered closer and peered over Zoe's shoulder at her cards, as she was the nearest one to him. “What are you playing?”

Mal looked up at him. “An old card game Zoe and I learned during the war.”

“Who's winning?”

Both Mal and Zoe pointed at Jayne silently, who grinned in a wolfish manner. While gruff and definitely crass, Jayne had a certain charm when he smiled. Simon mentally blinked as he realized he thought that and shook his head at himself.

“They thought they was so good, so I just had to kick their asses.”

Mal growled at his cards and set them down, clearly bowing out the round. “He's apparently forgotten more about this game than we ever knew. I think it would take three people ganging up against him to win.”

“No one else plays it here besides you three?”

“No one else knows it or seems interested in learning it.”

“Ah,” Simon replied, for lack of anything else to say, and headed into the kitchen to make himself something to drink, trying to ignore the captain's thoughtful eyes on him.

“You've got a decent poker face, Doctor. Jayne should teach you how to play and we'd actually have a decent stab of people.”

Jayne's head snapped up so fast that it gave him whiplash. “Huh?!”

Simon turned around, wondering how to bow gracefully out of the idea of being taught _anything_ by Jayne. “I'm sure I wouldn't be any good.”

“Yeah, what he said!”

“Nonsense,” Mal argued, overriding them. “There's plenty of time to learn and some comfortable places to sit outside the med bay that he could teach you.” Given his smile and Zoe's attempt at not laughing, the discussion was over and set, much to their horror.

“Gorram it,” Jayne groaned and just to spite the two of them, roundly beat Zoe.

~!~!~!~!~

It was two days later when a deck of cards was shoved in his face. Simon instinctively leaned back and his eyes shifted from the small, dirty squares tied with a rubber band and up at the six foot four person that towered over him. “Get over here,” Jayne told him with a swarthy tone and stalked out to claim the sofa for himself. With a sigh, Simon followed, pulling a chair to the other side of the small table nearby so they were facing each other.

Seven cards were dealt his way and though Simon was never considered stupid since he graduated at the top three percent of his class, he had trouble grasping the rules being belt out at him from the other side of the table at lightning speed. Most of the time when he attempted to play a card, that was wrong. He laid down a diamond card and Jayne groaned.

“No, no, you gorram idiot!” His hand reached out and smacked Simon's before shoving the card he'd put down back into his hand. “You can't play that yet!”

Simon hadn't failed to notice that Jayne was a very tactile person. He liked to touch _everything_ and it seemed to be a compulsion that he couldn't stop. Even Simon, as much as Jayne seemed to dislike him, could not escape the physical touching and exploration, even though it was kept to a minimum.

Seeing that he couldn't play that card, he attempted to play another. This was apparently not right either.

“No!” Jayne set his cards face down on the table and came over behind Simon, leaning down over the sitting man so that Simon could almost feel the breath on his ear. A rough hand grabbed his wrist, forcing him to reveal the faces of the cards he had. “...Well, shit, you got a bad hand. There isn't anything you _can_ do, which means you lose the round. Now if this here was a different color, then yeah, you'd actually be doing pretty good.”

“Why a different color?”

“Because black trumps everything. You'll notice there are three different colors: red, black, and white. White is the weakest color and black is the strongest. It's pretty much a last ditch attempt at settling a tie. If the numbers come up the same, you look at the color of the last card played at the end of the round and whoever's color trumps highest wins.”

“It seems very confusing.”

“S'not, really. You just have to be smart enough to remember the rules. After that, it's just strategy. Set your cards on the table, I'll reshuffle and we'll try again.”

As Jayne sat back down with a huff and gathered all the cards together to shuffle, Simon studied him. Jayne, despite evidence to the contrary, wasn't an idiot. “How is your family doing?” he asked abruptly.

Jayne looked up in surprise at the question, but didn't hesitate in answering. His family appeared to be one of his favorite subjects, considering that he was willing to talk to Simon about it. “They're doing good. Mattie finally beat that cold of hers and one of my sisters is s'posed to be gettin' married next year.”

“Do you like the man she's marrying?”

“He's ain't too bad. He's got balls to go up against me. We had a fight when I first met him 'cause I didn't think he was good enough for her. Everybody including him knew that I would win, he was a skinny twig, but he was willing to fight it out until the end anyway. 'Course when it was done, my sister kicked my ass for it, but hey, if it makes her happy, great.”

“How many sisters do you have?”

“Three.”

Jayne's eyes flickered up at him, wary, as if he couldn't figure out why Simon was asking. Simon himself only asked merely for conversation, because sitting in silence was very uncomfortable due to the fact that neither of them really wanted to be there and he wasn't entirely sure if Mal wasn't skulking about and watching them. “What about your parents?”

“Dad died when I was seven, so we pretty much scraped by on what we could. My youngest sis was four when he died. I've even got me some nephews!” Jayne grinned widely and pulled out his wallet. A much loved picture was extracted from its clutches and Simon gingerly took hold of it. “Those are my eldest sis' kids.” Two young boys were smiling and waving at the camera and behind that, an older woman that while not truly out-and-out pretty, had an appeal to her open face. “They should be about seven an' eight right now.”

Simon handed the picture back. “And which sister is getting married next year?”

“Second eldest. The youngest one ain't int'rested right now. Mom says she's all about the ass-whuppin'.”

“Is that why you became a mercenary?”

Jayne stared at the picture with a soft expression on his face that Simon had never seen, hadn't even been sure that Jayne was capable of making, and slid it back into his wallet. The wallet disappeared into his back pocket. “Yeah. Needed the money so as soon as I could, I got a job that paid the most and that was it. There ain't a lot of high-payin' jobs back home, so I travel around and send money back when I get paid.”

The cards were dealt again and Simon suffered through another repeat of the rules. This time, though, he really did attempt to pay attention and not let his mind wander.

“What about you?”

“What do you mean?”

“What was your family like?”

Simon didn't answer for a long moment. He was still _very_ bitter about his parents and had lost all respect for them. “My childhood was...all right. I spent a lot of time with River growing up and I suppose we had pretty much what we wanted. Things didn't start turning bad until after River...” He paused and took a deep breath, staring at his cards but not really seeing them. “They were proud of me for what I had done in the MedAcad and the hospital, but they started treating me like I was crazy when I tried explaining to them about River's letters and what they were doing to her at the Academy. They even suggested that I quietly start seeing a psychologist just to settle me down. Of course when I finally had a real chance to get River out, they told me that if I did anything crazy, they would disown me. So...I went to save River and was disowned. To be honest, I suppose I felt that we were loved when we were bringing pride to the family name... In that respect, I envy you.”

“Huh?” Jayne, who had apparently started to tune out near the end, looked up in surprise. “Why? Weren't ya fed with golden spoons and the like on that core planet of yers with all the money in the world?”

He gave Jayne the withering look that he had perfected and yet didn't seem to work on the muscle-bound man. “At least it sounds like you grew up with love and attention and _life_. Thinking back on it now, everything seemed so 'lukewarm' and expected. I'm sure it had its downs, like your father dying, but it still sounds like you were actually living, rather than existing.”

“Uh...yeah...whatever.”

There was an awkward silence left after that.

~!~!~!~!~

Almost every day for the next two weeks, Jayne continued to come to the medical bay to teach Simon how to play. It wasn't as bad as he feared it would be. Only once or twice did they get into a bad argument and Jayne would storm away. So long as they stuck to 'safer' topics, they were fine, and Simon learned quite a lot about Jayne. He named his guns, for one, and had some...interesting, if crass, stories about his years before joining the crew of the _Serenity_. The ones that he liked hearing the most about were Jayne's family and the man seemed happy to tell them to someone who appeared interested.

Inara found Simon standing on the catwalk in the cargo bay, watching idly as Jayne did some weight-lifting below him. “I hear that things are going well between you two.”

Simon looked up. “Going well?” he asked in curiosity.

“You're talking a lot with him. It's almost sounding like you know the most of him of anyone on the crew. Jayne...has difficulty opening up to people. In fact, I don't think he has to anyone on the ship.”

“Why not?”

“Perhaps no one asked the right questions.”

Simon always felt at sea with Inara. She was a stunning woman with a very keen eye at characters and had surprising insights into human behavior. Her dresses were without compare and everyone could see how Inara and Mal felt about each other. He just couldn't figure out why they refused their feelings and instead allowed this strange limbo to continue. Her insight made it hard to hide things. “What are you implying?”

“Nothing,” she said with a soft smile, studying Simon's expression as he glanced down at Jayne when there was a sound of metal against metal. The weights had been set aside for chin-ups. “If you ever need to talk, my shuttle is always open.”

Simon watched her go, wondering what it was that she was getting at. He straightened up, intending to go check on River, when a voice from below caught his attention.

“Hey Doc, get down here and spot me, will ya?” Simon nodded and headed down into the cargo bay as Jayne waited for him as a spotter for bench-pressing. “Let's hope you have some muscle on you.”

“I have more than you would guess,” Simon told him with a smile and helped pull the bar up, wondering why Jayne had asked him of all people. Maybe because he happened to be the only one there? Man, those weights were heavy and he could tell that Jayne was straining just a bit beneath them, but that was probably the point: have just enough that it's a bit difficult so something is gained by doing it.

There wasn't much to do, being a spotter. He didn't really want to take his attention away from Jayne in case he needed help, but conversation really wasn't wise in this situation, was it? So instead, he studied the man below him and listened to his soft grunts. The first thing he noticed was the fact that Jayne was very well-built. He took care of his body and it took a lot of punishment. Even through his shirt, Simon could see the well-defined muscles and abs. His hands were rough with calluses and the like from the physical labor, unlike his own. His skin was also dark from his time in the sun. Simon's eyes shifted to Jayne's face. Not exactly handsome in the strictest definitions, but there was some appeal to him, particularly when he _wasn't_ talking.

Noting that it appeared as if Jayne was going to need a break soon, he reached out to grab the bar and help guide it back to its cradle above Jayne's head. He didn't know how Jayne did it!

The man in question panted heavily as he slowly sat up and Simon handed him a towel for his sweat. “Is that your usual level?”

“It's a little tougher today because the last weighting was gettin' too easy. You should try it sometime,” Jayne told him and laughed, hitting Simon's stomach lightly. “You might actually grow a bit of muscle!”

“I have enough to suit me,” Simon told him with a small smile.

For some reason, Jayne seemed to find that very funny and laughed loudly.

The intercom flared to life and Zoe's voice echoed in the cargo bay. “Jayne and Simon, meet in the kitchen. We have a job.”

Jayne got up immediately and headed out, Simon following a moment's hesitation. Why did they need him? He had only ever helped with one job and that had been a reluctant help at that. He wasn't a good actor and didn't know much about crime. Well...there had been that one time with Ariel where he had engineered an entire heist, true, but that one had ended up being screwed up by Jayne's greed and almost being caught by the Alliance.

Everyone was already there by the time he got there, except Inara. She had apparently flown her shuttle to do work of her own when they had reached planet side. Mal nodded at him and leaned his hands on the back of a chair that River sat in. “Okay, here's the deal. We have some cargo we need to pick up here, but it happens to be in the basement of a small clinic. This, however, is a 'respectable' clinic, which means that we can't just walk in and get it. Patients aren't allowed down that far.”

He was getting a bad feeling about this.

“So how do we get in?” Jayne asked.

Mal's eyes turned to Simon. “The good doctor will. One of us will pose as being sick and his friends bring him there, while at the same time, Simon will be applying for a position at the clinic. They're always in need of doctors. Get yourself a tour of the building and get down to the basement. There's a small box down there in a crate. Grab it, it should fit in your pocket, I'm told. Then all you have to do is waltz out while we have a distraction.”

“Do we know what's in the box?”

Mal looked at Zoe. “I honestly didn't ask.”

“Sounds simple enough,” Kaylee said with a smile and looked excited.

Simon himself was feeling a little nauseous at the thought. “What happens if I can't get out?”

“Well there is that, of course. It's on a fairly hostile planet, what with a grassroots rebellion going on, so I'll act as your bodyguard.”

“Is that wise, sir?” Zoe asked. “If they run the ship's tags, they'll see your face as the owner of _Serenity_.”

“There's still that danger of recognizing the doctor.”

“That's true, sir, but this is something of an out of the way planet. They might not have any reason to run what he looks like, but it would be a lot easier to run the ship's I.D. It would be better to have you with those that are going to have the diversion. You playing as a bodyguard would only raise more questions.”

Mal crossed his arms. “That would mean leaving it to either you or Jayne...” His eyes shifted between his second-in-command and Jayne several times. “Jayne, you go with the doctor.”

“Wait, why me?!” Jayne demanded.

“Because you have no acting talent,” Mal told him bluntly. “The diversion is going to take some improv and you're not good at that. Besides, if Simon does need help in getting out of there, you can probably find one than him alone. There, everything settled? We start tomorrow!” With a boyish grin, he turned and headed toward the cockpit, leaving no time for Simon to object.

Simon headed back to his room with a pale face. He didn't know if he could do this. Sure he was a doctor and a surgeon, but he'd never been accused of having a lot of acting talent and Jayne had even less than him. In terms of speaking, Jayne had no ability to think on feet and smooth the way. He had no charisma to be found in that regard. Sure, a firefight he was good at that, but he was terrible at lying.

“Hey, it'll be okay,” Kaylee murmured, coming into his room and sitting next to him. “You'll do fine and Jayne will be there to help you.” She kissed him softly, one he barely responded to in his nerves.

Simon didn't sleep well that for all that Kaylee enticed him into bed. He felt sleep-deprived the next morning and stressed. Per Mal's orders, he dressed in his 'finery'. Jayne... Jayne had argued about 'looking his best', which didn't look very different from his usual cargo pants and t-shirt, but they at least attempted to help him look the part. His mood lifted a little when they told him he could carry a few guns.

Simon and Jayne left the ship first. Thankfully, the port was near the town and the clinic, with the rebellion in the rural areas, but that didn't mean it couldn't move forward...

The doors automatically slid open for them and a nurse lifted her head. “Can I help you?”

“Yes, I'm here looking for a position on the staff.” Her critical eyes swept to Jayne and he felt his heart triple its beat in nerves. “This is my bodyguard. I heard that it wasn't safe as of late going through some of the areas here, so I thought it might be best to be cautious.”

“Don't I know it. That rabble, always putting bullet holes in people. I wish they'd stop killing our doctors in their little fight!” the woman replied with a sigh and led him to the manager's office. “He's here about one of the open positions.”

“Well well.” The man, seeming to have an air of 'pompous' even though Simon didn't think he had the experience to warrant it on this planet, leaned back in his chair. “Do you have any prior history?”

Simon didn't want to use his prestigious background in case it alerted anyone, so he fudged it a little as to where he was from and not quite as _impressive_ in his grades, but still high enough that they'd die to have him on their staff in a place like this. It was only as he was talking and Jayne was fidgeting behind him, that he began wondering if maybe he was making it _too_ ostentatious. After all, if he was that good, what was he doing out on a planet this far from the Core? The eyes that were studying made him shift in his chair and really, everything hinged on him, and he was fine with that in the med bay, but not out here.

“Well it sounds fine, Mr. Landover. You'll understand that I have to run a background check first, though, right? You can't be too careful with all these foolhardy people and their idiotic rebellions. If everything checks out, which I expect it will, I will give you a call and we can start filling out the paperwork.”

Gorram it! Simon tried not to sweat in nerves. “Of course. Do you mind giving me a tour of the building before I leave?” Seeing his silent question of 'why', he frantically cast about for any excuse. “I would like to get a feel for the place before I leave, that's all.”

“Well it's fairly small so I'm sure you'll find everything, but all right. I don't see why not.”

The manager was right when he said it was small and it didn't take very long before the tour was completed. “If you don't mind, I'd like to visit the restroom,” Simon said when the manager started to get a bit twitchy after the tour was completed, clearly feeling as if his time was being wasted when he could be harassing his doctors and feeling important. Simon had seen those types before.

“Ah, right then. You know where it is. Now if you'll excuse me.”

Simon nodded and waited until the man was out of sight before he and Jayne hurried to the basement door they had passed by briefly. It was locked, much to his chagrin.

“Out of the way.” It was the first time that Jayne had said anything since they entered and Simon had actually forgotten that he was there.

He tried to cover for Jayne as he fiddled with the lock.

“Gotta say, Doc, that was some slick acting.”

Huh? “What?”

“You lookin' so calm and all. Could barely tell you were lyin' yer ass off.”

He hissed for Jayne to keep his voice down. Really? He had? Amazing because inwardly, he'd been all kinds of nervous and sure that he was giving everything away. “...Thank you,” he said, not sure what else _to_ say to that.

Jayne grunted and finally managed to jimmy the lock. This didn't have the state of the art locks on the major core planets, thankfully. Just as the door opened, Simon could hear the captain's voice in the distance as he, Zoe, and Kaylee burst in to provide a distraction. A little later than they needed it, but nobody had quite anticipated how small the clinic would be.

“Hurry, find it!”

With Jayne's words ringing in his ears, Simon hunted for the small box that had been described to him that morning. There were many crates down there, mostly empty ones, and he had to turn over at least three before he found what he was looking for. It was just as he had reached the top of the stairs again that an explosion rocked the building. “What's going on?!”

Someone ran past shouting something about the rebellion and the armed guards that had been in almost every corner of the small clinic swarmed toward any door and window they could find to start shooting those approaching from outside. The small intercom in his ear flared to life and he winced at the volume of his captain's voice. “If you've got what we need, get out now! We don't want to get in the middle of this.”

Simon wanted to ask how they were going to leave, but the sounds of the nearby gunshots drowned him out.

Jayne grabbed his arm without warning and began tugging him toward the back of the clinic, shouting something about a back door he'd spotted. This turned out to be an extraordinarily bad idea because there was heavy fighting between the guards and some not-exactly-well-dressed civilians with guns in their hands. Simon shouted a bit when someone grabbed him from behind, startling the fighters and Jayne alike. The barrel of a gun was pressed to his head, the metal cool, and he felt heavy, panicked breathing in his ear. “Let them in or he dies!”

The guards moved aside reluctantly and Jayne took advantage of the moment to clobber the person holding him. It seemed a very stupid move to Simon, what would have happened if the gun had gone off? He turned around to see, catching a glimpse of...the nurse he'd spoken to that had shown such disdain for the rebellion?

“Run!”

Simon was yanked through the stunned mob at the door and a few seconds later, shots started ringing out again. Jayne slammed into him and a shot meant for Simon landed squarely in his shoulder and another in his leg. “Keep moving!”

They hobbled away as fast as they could, Simon supporting a lot of Jayne's weight despite the fact that the man told him that he was fine and he didn't have to. They were the last ones on the ship. Zoe had stationed herself by the controls to the cargo door and as soon as they were inside, she hit the close button. “They're on, go!” she snapped into the intercom nearby, and he could feel _Serenity_ rumble to life and take off.

Zoe moved to help Simon bring Jayne to the med bay. Mal joined them, demanding to know what happened. Simon just shoved the precious box that he had somehow managed to hold onto into his hands before pulling on his white surgical apron and getting to work. Rather than make Jayne lift his arms and contort to get off his shirt, he merely cut the sleeve off to get at the bullet wound. He worked as best he could while giving the briefest rundowns of what happened before throwing the two out until he was alone with Jayne.

“That was a _very_ stupid move,” Simon berated him, giving him a hefty shot of painkillers before attempting to remove the bullet.

“Gorram it, shut it,” Jayne snapped through gritted teeth. “That's my job.”

Simon expertly pulled the bullet from the shoulder and bandaged it up, moving to the other side to cut some of Jayne's pants so he wouldn't have to take them off. It was just faster that way. “So your job was take two bullets for me?” he snapped.

“Yeah it was,” Jayne argued.

This one was a bit tougher to get out, but Simon succeeded and bandaged that up. He leaned over Jayne, their eyes meeting for the first time in a long while. “Don't do that again. I don't like people getting hurt for me.”

“I'll get hurt for you if I damn well please,” Jayne growled back, apparently unaware of how that sounded.

“You're an idiot!” he settled on, feeling a little awkward after hearing that. “Stay put and rest.”

Simon's eyes widened briefly as Jayne's good hand grabbed his collar, keeping him there. “No one tells me what to do, least of all you.” With that, he was shoved away and probably by sheer will did Jayne get to his feet and hobble out of the infirmary to his bunk. By the time he got to his room and down the stairs, he collapsed with pain onto his bed.

After a minute, Simon started to slowly clean up after everything and wash his instruments. He had...planned to bring up the incident with the gun to his forehead, but he'd probably be told that he was stupid and the safety had been on the whole time or something like that. He knew where Jayne had likely gone and he knew that he'd be in pain. _Stupid man! He shouldn't have been so damn...noble!_ It was not a term that he would have ever considered applying to Jayne, of all people, but he didn't know what else to call it. With a sigh, Simon grabbed a small needle and filled it with a bit of morphine. Slowly he made his way to Jayne's quarter and hesitated before he made his way down the stairs. His eyes couldn't help taking in the guns on every wall and the very...well... _manliness_ of the room itself. It wasn't all that clean, but it wasn't really dirty or cluttered either. Knives were just as plentiful as guns.

“What do you want?”

Simon turned his gaze to meet Jayne's and he moved to sit on the edge of the bed. “Since you're such an idiot, you're probably in a lot of pain after that.” He pulled Jayne's uninjured arm into his lap and gently injected the morphine. After a minute or two, the pain on Jayne's face began to dissipate. The arm wasn't retracted immediately and Simon didn't, surprisingly, feel a need to leave right away.

“Feeling less pain?”

“...Yeah. Gotta admit, you may not be good for anything else, but you're good at what you do.”

As backhanded as it was, it was the first compliment that Jayne had ever given Simon and he felt a smile touch his lips. Jayne wasn't looking at him, which meant he was embarrassed. It was a little disconcerting to him how much he had learned and picked up about Jayne in the last month or so. “Well, for what it's worth, you're good at what you do.”

“Damn straight!”

Simon laughed a bit at the confidence. Jayne's hand curled at the wrist a little and lightly touched, more like held, Simon's arm. “You hurt?”

“No. Thank you for that.”

Simon thought he could drown in that gaze when it was turned on him. Jayne wasn't as tough as he thought he was. There was the faintest hints of vulnerability that he saw and for all of his strength, Jayne's need to touch never hurt. In fact, it didn't really bother him at all.

“...Good.” There was a pause. “You look tired.”

“I guess I am. I'm not used to what happened today. Or at least, not being in the center of it. Kind of wipes you out. And you're not particularly light.”

“You shoulda listened then and not tried to support me. I was fine.”

“You weren't, and you know it,” Simon answered, leaning a little more against Jayne's hip, the action that was only urged further by the shifting of Jayne's arm and hand pressing against his own.

No matter how he thought about it, Simon couldn't recall later _how_ he ended up sleeping against Jayne's good shoulder. That strong arm was around his shoulders, holding him close. Simon shifted when his eyes opened and that was enough to wake Jayne. He blearily blinked, wondering time it was. His internal clock said it was time to sleep, which likely meant it was 'night'. He rubbed his face a bit and looked down at Jayne, whose expression was serious as he stared at him.

No words were said, which probably contributed to the fact that there was an almost catastrophic moment where their lips were close to meeting. All Simon knew was that he had been briefly lost in those eyes and felt breath near his mouth. If it hadn't been for the fact that Jayne's hand had splayed itself out on the small of his back, pushing him a little closer, it likely would have happened. With a jerk, Simon sat up. “Sorry about falling asleep here. I'll...check on you later to see if you're still in pain.”

He hurried from Jayne's bunk, leaving the man confused and appearing half-asleep, which Simon chalked up their near kiss to.

~!~!~!~!~

Jayne attempted to be nonchalant as he headed for Inara's shuttle, taking the most roundabout way there so if anyone caught him, they wouldn't know where he was heading. No one was watching him, so... After another glance around he quickly entered and closed the door behind him. The beautiful companion turned around in surprise. “Jayne?”

“...I think I need ta find a woman.”

“What?”

“That really has to be it. I need ta find a willin' woman and sleep with her.”

Inara blinked and left the terminal she was using to sit on her sofa. After a minute she pursed her lips, wondering if this was a joke. “I don't service crew.”

“I ain't askin' ya to!”

Seeing the defensiveness, Inara motioned and said, “Please sit then. Did you need help?”

Jayne awkwardly sat down next to her. “Um...well...things got...weird about a week ago.”

“Weird how?”

“Well the Doc looks kinda girly, don't he?”

“Simon? Not particularly,” Inara answered, puzzled.

Jayne didn't seem to be listening. “I mean, a week ago... It was also 'cause I was doped with painkillers,” he added, avoiding actually saying it.

“Jayne, what happened?”

“It's just 'cause we were tired and he's girly and I had painkillers,” Jayne repeated and nodded to himself. “Last week...after we got back and the bullets were taken out and everythin', Simon came to my bunk to give me some painkillers. We...talked. We fell asleep. When we woke up, we almost...almost...”

“Almost what?”

“...Kissed.”

Her eyes widened a bit and Jayne hurriedly said, “It's just because he's girly, we were tired, and I had painkillers and ain't had a trim in awhile, right? I just need ta find a woman...right?”

Inara shook her head. This she hadn't really expected. If Simon was even feeling an inkling of the same way, poor Kaylee! “Jayne, I hate to break this to you, but Simon isn't effeminate.”

“E...ffe...?”

“Girly,” she clarified. “Jayne, tell me...what do you think about when you think of Simon? How do you feel?”

“He's pretty useless, 'cept at doctoring people up. Can't use a gun, but...I s'pose he's actually pretty brave. I can kick his gorram pigu any time I damn well please and the idiot would bravely attempt to take it or even stupidly fight back. He's ain't...well he's ain't a coward. He's definitely pompous...but he's gettin' better when he don't wear those stupid vests and stuff. He learns fast too and ain't too bad a card player. He looks better when he smiles and stuff...”

She smiled a little at him. “Jayne...I think you've fallen for him.”

“Fallen?”

“In love.”

Jayne recoiled as if she had turned into a Reaver. “Hell no!” he spat, standing up and pacing. “I ain't sly, gorram it!”

“It has nothing to do with being sly or not. Feelings are feelings. You said it yourself, you almost kissed and listen to how you just described him. Did you like it when you both fell asleep together?”

Jayne shook his head frantically, trying to dislodge the thought that he had. He had felt that body pressed against his side and kind of liked it. Simon had grown some muscles in the time that he'd been with them. “It can't be! It gorram can't be!” he spat, stalking out.

Two days later, he was back. Inara just smiled at him and welcomed him to sit down next to her. She didn't service crew, but she did give them advice. “I...I think I...I think I just jacked off to him...” Not exactly the best way to put it, but Inara couldn't expect a lot of refinement out of someone like Jayne.

“It's okay...”

“No it ain't!” There was a long, long pause while Inara waited as he fiddled with whatever came to hand. “...What do I do?”

This was going to take a bit...

~!~!~!~!~

Ever since the time in in his room, things had been somewhat awkward with Simon and Jayne. He checked up on him, but he was always aware of how close he should be and shouldn't be. A week after that, he had noticed the _odd_ looks Jayne kept giving him when he thought no one was paying attention. Had he somehow made Jayne angry? No one else seemed to notice and he really attempted to have things go back to normal.

He realized too late when spending the night with Kaylee, that Jayne flashed before his mind as he climaxed. Thankfully he hadn't said anything, had bite his lip to remain silent, but it was enough to freak him a little. Unfortunately, _Serenity_ wasn't a large ship, which meant that the chances of running into Jayne were pretty accurate. They continued to play cards together outside the med bay, something that had become habit more than anything else, but there was definitely something awkward between them. The conversations between them were unusually 'safe' topics, if they talked at all. River was surprisingly gleeful as of late and though he was sure that she was getting better, she didn't seem to have as many fits, her remarks had been cryptic enough that he was left scratching his head over their meaning.

Finally, Simon sought out some council.

Inara was hardly surprised to see Simon see her and she had a good idea as to what it was about. Perhaps she should start charging for advice too. Silently she welcomed him in and poured some tea.

He sat awkwardly and wiped his palms on his pants. “May I count on your confidentiality?”

“Of course, Simon.”

He hesitated a second more, before continuing. “I believe that...I might...have feelings for Jayne,” Simon whispered, wincing a bit. “I don't know for certain, but I keep...thinking about him. And one time...well...I think you can guess what might have happened.”

“You had a physical reaction to the thought of him?”

He thought back to that time with Kaylee. “...In a manner of speaking.”

Inara just had to ask. “Simon, I always thought you were...”

“Sly?” Simon snorted and resisted the urge to pace. “That's what everybody has said to me. Even Kaylee commented it to me just before we...for the first time. I fail to see why. I have never found another man attractive before!” That was what made this even more difficult. He had seen some good male specimens, but none had ever really made him 'react', enough to really masturbate to, so why did _Jayne_ of all people?

In the tense silence, she asked, “Do you love him?”

Simon took a deep breath, attempting to calm down. “...Maybe. I feel...a strange sort of passion. There's an excitement there, but it's hard to describe. It's lively and yes, we'll probably get into constant arguments, but it gives me strong emotions, which...is rare. Sometimes, dare I say, it's even fun to argue with him. The few times I've felt that strongly has been mostly about River and keeping her safe and loving her. I love my sister very much.”

“You gave up everything you had for her, so it's easy to see.”

“Jayne riles me up though. He manages to push all my buttons. We...We almost kissed once already. I don't mind it when he touches me. You have noticed that Jayne likes to touch things, right?”

“I have.”

“I don't mind it. I kind of like it. It was comfortable lying next to him when I fell asleep and...well...It was both exciting and kind of embarrassing that he got shot for me. I wish he hadn't done it, really. I don't like people getting hurt for me. I'm a doctor, I take away pain so it feels as if I'm giving it if that happens, but at the same time...”

“The idea is nice.”

“I suppose so. What...do I do?”

“Talk to him and see what happens. Maybe you can work something out. Only...don't say anything to Kaylee until you are absolutely sure you want this and what will happen between you and Jayne. If you find that you are truly serious about each other after that talk, then you must break the news to her. If this is a fling, though, you must end it. You cannot have both. Both can be...a bit possessive, Jayne moreso than Kaylee.”

“I see,” Simon whispered. “Thanks.”

“You're welcome.”

~!~!~!~!~

Simon hadn't wanted to get into a discussion like that where they could be overheard, so he waited until everyone was asleep before he silently and on bare feet crept to Jayne's room. With a deep breath, he opened the door and winced when it seemed so loud. He closed it and climbed down without asking, already feeling Jayne's eyes on him before he even turned around. It was a small room, after all.

“What do you want?”

He turned and watched when Jayne eyed him up and down in the loose shirt and pants he wore to bed. It was perhaps the most relaxed his wardrobe ever got. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“About what?”

Simon risked coming closer and sat hesitantly on the edge of the bed. “I...wanted to talk about...us. I wanted to know...if there _was_ an 'us.'.”

Jayne sat up and Simon finally realized that he had no shirt on. For all the fact that in the med bay he saw Jayne shirtless a lot with his wounds, it was somehow different to see it in his bunk without a shirt on. Perhaps it was because the bunk was smaller, or because the room was just so _Jayne_ that he felt surrounded by him. He swallowed thickly. “Is there? Is there an 'us'?” he asked, his voice sounding a bit raspy.

His answer came in the form of a kiss. Jayne's lips latched onto his and a hand came up to cup his face in an oddly gentle motion. Jayne's other hand came around and literally hauled Simon up until the doctor was straddling him. Everything was a mix of roughness and gentleness, just like Jayne himself, and Simon felt his stomach shiver just a little in the feelings.

“I don't share,” Jayne said when they broke apart. “Whores, fine, but if it's serious, I _don't. share._ “

Which meant that he would have to break the news to Kaylee and hope it didn't hurt her too badly. “I understand,” he whispered, moving to pull off his shirt and kiss Jayne again. He really didn't know what he was doing, but it seemed to be good, since Jayne pulled him closer and pressed their hips together in a rough and enticing motion.

After a minute, hands held his upper arms and pushed him back. Simon's eyes widened a little. He could tell that Jayne was interested, what with their hips pressed together, so why was he stopping them?

“Go,” Jayne muttered, voice huskier after their kissing. “'Fore I end up doing somethin' that shouldn't be done.”

“What?”

“Come back after you talk with li'l Kaylee. I ain't doin' nothin' 'till then, much as I want to just press your gorram ass to the bed and have you.”

It was a surprising thing to hear from Jayne of all people, the 'man-ape-gone-wrong-thing'. It really did appear as if Jayne was doing everything he could to hold himself back, out of respect for someone he thought of as his little sister. Simon slowly stood up next to the bed. To be honest, it rather shamed him just a bit and he nodded. Simon contemplated Jayne as he quietly left the room. He had _seen_ how Jayne treated the whores he spent time with, back at Nandi's, or at least he thought he had inkling. It was hardly something that could even be considered 'romantic' in any sense of the word. Jayne had always said he wouldn't kiss on the mouth, so why had he just now? Was Jayne going to, surprisingly, be a serious lover? Not once in all the time that Simon had been there, had he heard of the mercenary taking anyone on as a permanent partner. 'If it's serious', huh? Did that mean that this was serious, and if it was, then how did Jayne's behavior differ?

“Time to sleep.”

Simon nearly shouted, his heart jumping into his throat. He whirled, seeing River there and staring at him without smiling. He hadn't even heard her come up behind him! Hadn't he already put her to bed? What was she doing up? “R-River! You nearly scared me to death!”

“Time to sleep,” she repeated, gently pushing at him to move to his room. “Time to tuck you in.”

“River, I don't need to be tucked in.” Was Kaylee there? He hoped not, he was too tired to get into that sort of conversation.

“Going to tuck you in anyway.” She stuck her tongue out at him like his real meimei from years back and he smiled as she proceeded to 'tuck him in', up to and including pushing him onto the bed, tossing his legs on the bed, and covering him with a blanket. She even nudged the blanket with her fingers underneath him until he felt as if he was in one of those sleeping bags. Since she was all but giggling, he assumed she was doing it just to annoy him, but he couldn't help smiling anyway.

“Night meimei.”

“Night, gege.”

~!~!~!~!~

“You said...you said you _weren't_ sly!”

Simon stared shamefully at the floor of the engine room to avoid looking at Kaylee's hurt eyes. Realizing that this was rude, particularly after their time together, he forced his eyes to meet hers. He supposed he should have realized something was wrong when they'd never done it more than three, perhaps four times. “I don't think I am, not strictly. I have had...one or two girlfriends in the past besides yourself. I've never been very good with talking to anyone outside of a hospital or medical setting, so... Strictly speaking, I assume that I would be considered bisexual--”

“Don't go strictly speaking me!”

He winced when he realized that he had started to slip in his doctor-somewhat-desensitized tone. “I'm sorry.”

Kaylee wrapped her arms around her stomach and there was a distinct wetness coating her eyes. “W-Why Jayne?”

“I don't know. I feel...drawn to him. I don't really know how to explain it.” Simon didn't want to say what he was about to, because it would probably hurt her even worse. “There's just something, more of a spark, between him and I than...than there is that kind of spark between us. I still think of you as a wonderful friend, Kaylee, but that's all.”

“Ya haven't...with him...”

“No.”

There was a long moment of silence and when Simon attempted to touch her shoulder, she stepped back. “Fine. It's over.”

“Kaylee...”

“I need time, Simon. Alone.”

He slowly stepped away and headed down the hall. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught River taking the position he vacated and wrapping her arms around Kaylee. He winced as he heard the sudden shaky breaths and cries from his former girlfriend. They seemed to follow him into his dreams that night too.

The next morning, it was obvious something had happened between them since Kaylee wouldn't even look at him and breakfast was a fairly silent affair because of it. Simon did his best to keep his eyes on his plate, but they would wander sometimes to Jayne. Jayne, on the other hand, didn't seem at all inclined to make his glances surreptitious and boldly met his eyes when that happened. When breakfast broke up, he wanted to talk to the mercenary, but he held himself back for Kaylee's sake. He didn't want to rub salt in the wounds by immediately jumping at the man not even twenty-four hours after they'd broken up. So instead, he puttered around in the infirmary for most of the day, arranging and rearranging anything that wasn't nailed down. There would still be another four days before they reached Persephone to refuel and pick up supplies.

Things didn't get much better in those four days. Simon wanted and refrained from visiting Jayne's bunk each night. Jayne himself had little to say to him and didn't even come to the infirmary to play cards as he usually did. It was understandable, he told himself. Jayne had made his decision, and it was all up to Simon to go back to him. He missed him even though it was his own fault that he hadn't gone to see him, and the ache grew worse the longer he put it off.

When they landed, Jayne left the ship almost immediately. Simon didn't know if it was imagination or not that he felt the man's intense stare on him just before he stepped out. It came down to whether he wanted to stay on the ship or hope to blend in on Persephone, cross his fingers, and pray there were medical supplies that he'd need.

Simon must have stared at the counter for what felt like hours, but was in reality only twenty minutes, before he decided he would try it. He had just turned around and stepped out the infirmary door when he almost literally ran into Kaylee. He stumbled back just so he didn't knock into her, but she merely followed him, pointing and poking him with a finger until his back was to the wall. Her eyes were tough on him.

“What do you think yer doing?” she demanded.

“I was going to go to Persephone--” he began.

“With Jayne!”

Simon's eyes glanced over her shoulder at River, that had apparently followed the mechanic and back. “W-What do you mean? I explained--”

“You told me four days ago and judging by Jayne, you didn't make a move since!”

“Well I thought, seeing as how-- I didn't want to rub it in your face by going there -- I mean, I was trying to be thoughtful--”

She interrupted his stuttering again with an angry huff. “So you break up with me and don't go back ta him so we're all sittin' here mis'rable?”

“Well I didn't think--”

“If you don't talk to him soon, then I will come back up here and slap you!”

His eyes widened, but when she smiled at him, wobbly though it was, he smiled back. He could see her good nature, her large heart, shining through that despite her pain. She wanted those she loved to be happy.

“I promise.”

In the silence, River's voice echoed, “Boob.”

~!~!~!~!~

Jayne hadn't looked at him after he came back, but Simon, once again barefoot, made his way to the mercenary's bunk that night. This time he actually remembered to knock, even though the door was open.

“Yeah?”

“It's...It's Simon.”

There was so long a moment of silence that he didn't think he'd be let in. He looked down as Jayne came to stand at the bottom of the stairs. Their eyes met and he gulped when he saw the scowl. After a minute, Jayne muttered. “C'mon then.”

Simon climbed down, noting Vera had been in the midst of a good cleaning, seeing the pieces carefully set out. Jayne sat down on the bed and grabbed the barrel, stroking it with a piece of cloth. “What do you want, Doc?”

“I spoke with Kaylee.”

“I noticed.”

He risked a step closer. “...You said you never kissed them on the mouth.”

“I don't. Kissin' is reserved for serious things, implying feelin's and all.”

Simon felt his heart beat a little harder at the fact that Jayne seemed so intent on staring at the barrel of the gun, but by the fact that his eyes weren't moving, he wanted to look at him. “Is that what this is then? Something serious?”

“What is it to you?”

By now, Simon was standing right in front of Jayne. “It's serious to me too.”

That was apparently all that was needed and the barrel hit the ground. Strong, muscled arms latched around Simon's waist and before he knew it, he was straddling Jayne's lap and they were kissing. Kissing good: long and languid sometimes and powerful and passionate others. Jayne's hand flattened out against his spine, as if to feel every flex that Simon made. Somehow, in between their kissing and fumbling, Simon divested himself of their shirts.

“No idea what it took to push you away that time,” Simon heard muttered against his lips as his shirt passed over his head.

“I think I do,” he replied, grinding their hips together a little.

“Ya ain't too bad,” Jayne murmured after a soft growl, kissing Simon's chest and his hands eagerly feeling all the muscles of the doctor's front and back.

“I like it myself,” Simon answered with a smile.

Rough hands moved down to push Simon's pants off. Simon watched as Jayne scooted down until he was laying down, hands urging him to stay put. For a minute, he wasn't sure what was going on until his hardness was pulled into the man's mouth. Not wanting to make too much noise, and not one to do so to start with, Simon bit his lip at the pleasure as he now straddled Jayne's shoulders unexpectedly. Kaylee had done this to him before, naturally, but it had never felt as good as this. Was it because his feelings were different?

It wasn't long before Jayne pulled away and sidled up behind him. Simon glanced over his shoulder, looking down and noting that Jayne was definitely _well-endowed_. What was downstairs definitely matched his massive height and build. He tried not to blush a little as arms held him tightly from behind.

“Do you know--”

“Yeah.”

“How do you know?” There was some awkward shifting behind him. “Jayne?”

“Went to see Inara,” was what Simon thought he said, but it came out all in a rush like 'WenttaseeInara', as if by saying it really fast, he could somehow make it less...embarrassing?

“Inara? You went to see her?”

Jayne buried his face in Simon's hair. “Yeah... Had to, to figure how all this gorram works.”

“You've never done this with a man before?”

“No,” Jayne told him sharply. “Have you?”

“No.”

“Hey.”

“What?” he asked, the word from Jayne breaking up a silence that had fallen as he was merely held for a long moment.

“You sure about this then? Me bein'...the first guy for you an' all?”

Well wasn't that an odd thing to ask, coming from Jayne. “Yeah, I'm sure.”

Fumbling sounded behind him. He was aware of how men had sex, thanks to his days at college, so Jayne could have just asked him, but he decided not to bring that up just then. Slick fingers gently pressed into him and Simon grunted a little. He was distracted from the strange feeling as Jayne's other hand explored everything it could find on his front, including his nipples, but left his groin alone. “Did you...steal that cream...from the infirmary?”

“'Course.”

Figured. He could almost _feel_ the smile behind him.

“Touch me,” he begged.

“I am,” Jayne replied, a surprising teasing tone to him.

“You know where!”

“Nah,” Jayne gently mocked. “You'll have to tell me.”

Simon, for all the fact that he had no trouble saying the words in regards to medical aspects, couldn't say it in bed and remained silent, whimpering instead when those fingers found his prostate and began to abuse it.

Still, Jayne was never accused of having a lot of patience and before long, Simon was urged onto all fours and he felt his lover press into him gently. Simon had learned quite a bit about Jayne, but this was the first time he saw what he would call a 'sensitive' side. Once he was sure that Simon was fine with it, Jayne started to thrust and thrust hard. It was hard to keep in his noises, but somehow Simon succeeded. Their passion, something neither had recognized until now, flowed over them and lasted through two more times.

Simon leaned back against Jayne, who's fingers were softly and gently stroking the outside of his arm now that they were spent. Small kisses were laid on his neck and Simon shivered at the feeling of that face fuzz of Jayne's. He'd always disliked it before, particularly when they'd first met. His first idea was to just to yank on it whenever he was annoyed. Now...it wasn't so bad. “Feels nice. Somehow...I expected...”

Those fingers slid slowly over his stomach. “Rougher?”

“Well...yes. I assumed, after watching you in the whorehouse...”

“Whores are different, Simon.” There was a sigh against the back of his shoulder. “I blame my sisters,” Jayne muttered. “Whorin' is fine; they don't expect, you know, special treatment, but you... _feel_ for somebody, ya gotta treat 'em right. Gotta spend _time_ on 'em and make 'em feel good even before you get to the sexin'.” There was a longer pause. “'Course you made me wait enough and I got impatient tonight.”

A smile stretched his lips, particularly as that gentle hand had slipped noticeably lower than his stomach. “You've got a big sex drive.”

“You wouldn't believe it,” Jayne replied with a grin. “You think you know it, but you don't. Not yet.”

Simon looked over his shoulder. “Oh really?”

Jayne shifted until he was over top of Simon and leaning between his legs. “Don't tempt me or yer gonna find out again.”

He smiled up at the man above him and pulled him down to kiss him. Again, those gentle touches and kisses, holding him so tightly that he didn't even notice when Jayne pushed in him again. “I didn't...tempt you!” he muttered, gasping at the very gentle thrusting.

“You always tempt me,” Jayne murmured in his ear. “You don't even have to try.”

“Kiss me again,” he pleaded, holding on tightly to the man he had, strangely, come to love.

His answer was another heart-melting kiss.

 

 

End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jayne: I've always seen him as growing up in a family of girls and so therefore, as crass as he is, inwardly he's got certain ideas about how one acts with a permanent lover you're serious about. I wish I had the companion books, but I've never read them.
> 
> Accent-y dialogue: Jayne and Kaylee and the like is hard to show how they talk in the show, so I did my best. I'm fine with it, but others might find it jarring, I don't know. I suck at that kind of stuff, so...


	2. Not Exactly Casanova

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jayne and Simon are finding that there are aspects to this whole dating thing that they hadn't thought of before.

Jayne blinked as his view of the ceiling was obscured suddenly by Mal. There was a frown on the Captain's face and he wondered what he had done wrong now. He set the bar he was pumping back in the cradle, risking doing bench-pressing without a spotter but no one had been available, and sat up. "Yeah, Mal?" he asked, wiping sweat off his forehead.

"What do you think you're doing?"

He glanced around, as if this was some sort of joke, because Jayne thought it was obvious. "I'm liftin' weights. What are _you_ doing?"

"No, Jayne, what are you doing with my doctor?"

Suddenly everything made sense and Jayne sighed heavily in annoyance. He had always been the type to show off his toys and yet not let anyone else play with them, so consequently, he had had no problem letting it be known that he was currently dating Simon. He tried to be considerate of Kaylee's feelings, he really did, but he couldn't help being affectionate when he wanted to be affectionate. To her credit, she smiled at him and seemed to be really trying to get through it.

"I'm fuckin' him, what else?" Seeing the fierce glare, the dangerous glint that appeared in Mal's eyes, Jayne quickly cut the sarcasm. "Seriously, Mal. We're datin'. Lovers. Goo-goo eyed idiots. That enough for you?"

Mal pursed his lips and frowned heavily, leaning over Jayne. Jayne couldn't help leaning back a bit. He really didn't like it when Mal got scary like this. He'd seen it a few times, like when he'd been nearly spaced after Ariel and the way he had acted on Haven when he asserted his authority to go to Miranda. While Jayne couldn't actually say he was _afraid_ of Mal most of the time, it was these times he dreaded. He had no trouble standing up to authority, in fact he hated authority, and he'd gladly question Mal whenever he damn well felt like it, but not when he was like this. Even he knew that was one shitty idea.

"Enough."

"Enough what...?"

"Jayne, I don't like my crew messed up. I haven't even finished picking up the pieces yet. In case you ain't noticed, Zoe's still grievin' mighty fierce. Nobody's done grievin' yet. I don't need anymore problems."

He frowned heavily. "Whaddya mean, problems? What's the problem with me datin' Simon?"

"How many times you been shot or stabbed, Jayne? I'm talkin' about the fact that you, Zoe, and me are out there every time. Our jobs, as you've noticed, never really go that smoothly. So what happens when you don't make it, huh? My doctor ends up like Zoe? Can't do his job because he's so busy cryin' his gorram eyes out. _Or_ he withdraws completely and starts dopin' hisself up to deal with the pain? Or what happens if the Alliance gets us, or we get into a scuffle and Simon don't make it. What happens to you, Jayne? Gonna fall apart on me? I've had enough of ship-board romances complicatin' things. It's bad enough when something like Miranda happens. I miss Wash and the preacher a helluva lot. Gets even worse when there's _romance_ involved. End it."

Mal straightened up and Jayne didn't react for a long moment because he was so busy wrestling with his inner anger. Logically he could see where Mal was coming from. He knew Mal was just trying to protect his crew and his ship and his family. He knew that Mal was likely scared of something happening again. He knew that in his head.

Didn't mean he was gonna follow it!

"No."

Mal, almost to the stairs, froze. "What did you say, Jayne?"

Jayne stood up and fiercely locked their eyes. "I said no. I ain't breakin' up with Simon just 'cause you has a hissy fit over the gorram thing. Yeah, I'm out there with ya in the thick of it. Yeah, yer plans never go right, gorram it. Yeah, there's Alliance on our asses and Reavers out there waitin'. I get that. Don't mean I'm givin' up one of the few good things I ever found."

"What are you going to do, Jayne, if I order you to? Are you going to leave?"

"I just ain't gonna follow it. Ya can't make me."

"Really?" Mal gave a hollow, intimidating laugh that made Jayne want to run to his bunk, but he firmly stood his ground regardless. He watched cautiously as his captain slowly made his way to him and he could tell by the very way his arms were moving that he was going to throw a punch. The question was, did he let it happen or did risk dodging it? Instinct kicked in and he dodged just in time. He wasn't even really thinking about it when he brought his knee up right into Mal's gut. He stepped back once as Mal caught his breath, but the captain surprised him by shoving his shoulder into the mercenary's stomach and they landed hard on the ground.

Mal straddled him and forced his shoulders to the floor. "Never thought I'd be having to fight with you over you datin' Simon," Mal huffed.

Jayne glared fiercely. "Chur ni-duh! Wash died. Preacher died. I miss him, but I sure as hell ain't gonna stop livin' just 'cause of that. People _die_. You used to know that! An' you know what I figure? I figure it's _you_ that has the problem, not Zoe or the rest of us. Ain't this a knee-jerk reaction?" His captain's eyes widened, as if this wasn't something that he'd been consciously aware of...or just in anger, he wasn't sure which. "I ain't leavin' Simon, an' I ain't leavin' this ship. So you'll just have to space me. An' if you even think about tellin' Simon to leave, I'll give you a broken jaw."

It felt like forever that he lay there with Mal on top of him, their wills fighting silently. "You're gonna hurt him, Jayne."

"Hell, I probably will, and you know what? I'm okay with that." Seeing the flash of anger, he explained with a frown, "That's what it's about. Thought you'd know that, you bein' so hot on Inara. You love someone, you hurt them. Fact o' life, Mal. Then you make up for it, which is great sex among other things, by the way. Can't love someone and _never_ hurt 'im. Trick is, don't do it intentionally."

"You really want this enough that you'll fight me over it?"

"Hell yeah! Simon's better'n Vera. Well...just by a few bits, but still."

A faint smile touched Mal's mouth and without warning, Jayne felt pain explode in his jaw when he was hit. Then his captain was standing up. "Fine. If you think you can make this work, I'll let you have the time. If it looks like it's harmin' my crew, though, I will put an end to it."

Jayne wasn't sure he believed that, to be honest. There was just something about Mal's expression right there as he turned away, as if he had a lot to think about. Rubbing his jaw, Jayne sat up and then slowly got to his feet. Time to bug his Doc and get some painkillers.

~!~!~!~!~

There it was. It was sitting on his pillow, looking at him.

Simon looked around his room. Nothing else was out of place. His attention turned back to it and he approached cautiously, as if it would bite him. It was a stupid idea and he reached out to pick it up. It was a tiny umbrella that was usually put in some of the 'fancier' drinks. His mother had had one every once in awhile. It looked a bit...battered, but it was bright and colorful. Simon twirled it between his fingers. He had a good idea of where this came from. A faint smile touched his lips and he set it gently on his desk before changing and getting into bed, not noticing the eyes that gleamed and watched him.

Two days later, there was another something sitting on this pillow. This was definitely more what he would expect, but he didn't know why it was there. Was it a present for him? Simon picked up the small dagger, hardly bigger than his hand. It was gleaming and sharp enough that he wondered if it could cut a hair. Like the umbrella, there was no note, but this time Simon was sure it was from Jayne. Had he left it here by accident? If so, then why arrange it on his pillow like that? He set the dagger down next to the umbrella and curled into bed to sleep.

He wasn't surprised to see another thing waiting on his pillow five days later. It was...a book. There was no title, and he explored the pages only to find them empty. A journal? Had Jayne known he was getting close to the end of his current one? If he did, then that meant Jayne was reading it and he would have to have a _talk_ with him about that.

When Simon left his room a few minutes later, fully intending on finding Jayne, arms wrapped around him from behind. "Lookin' fer me?"

That stupid, irrepressible smile came to Simon's face. "Yes, in fact. Are you my gift-giver, Jayne?"

"You like 'em?"

"Yes."

"Then yeah, I am."

Simon laughed. "What would have happened if I said no?"

"Then I woulda said no."

"What's the occasion?" he asked, wanting to know why he was suddenly getting all these gifts.

"None."

"So you just decided to give me stuff because you wanted to?" At Jayne's nod, Simon felt his cheeks turn a faint pink in pleasure. Much to his embarrassment, Simon let out a manly squeak when Jayne unexpectedly picked him up and carried him back inside his room. "I can walk on my own, you know."

Jayne dropped him on the bed and sat next to him. "Mebbe. I gotta talk to you, though."

Simon sat up and watched Jayne seriously. "What?"

"Cap'n don't like us together. Told me to break up with you." There was a space of seconds where it felt as if Simon's heart failed to beat. "Told him to gorram eat it."

He breathed again. "What did he say?"

"I think we're okay." Jayne let the silence fill for a minute. "Did you really think I'd leave ya, Simon, just 'cause Mal told me to?"

Simon shifted awkwardly. "I don't know, Jayne. Things are radically different now than they were before and...it bothers me a bit that he's not happy about this, but..."

"I ain't ever leavin' ya, Simon." He forced Simon to look at him. "I'll fight tooth and nail for ya, 'cause yer mine."

"Just don't let yourself get distracted because of me. I'd hate it if you were hurt because of that."

"Relax, I know my job. 'Course, right now..."

"Right now what?"

Jayne shifted and loomed over him, nudging Simon's legs apart. "My job right now is sexin' yer lights out."

Not really romantic, but Simon laughed and welcomed him all the same.  
~!~!~!~!~

Jayne was _not_ happy.

There was a snort behind him and he met Mal's almost-amused eyes. "What?" he snapped, not seeing what was so funny.

"Never thought I'd see the day that Jayne would be in a whorehouse and not only hasn't touched one whore, but indeed, looks fit to be tied."

He leaned back in the chair that he was sitting in and visibly bristling when someone made a mistake again and approached his lover. Simon politely, once again, sent them on their way before continuing his conversation with Kaylee and Inara at a separate table. Maybe it was the fact that half of the people were drunk and they couldn't tell an obvious whore from someone who wasn't, but it was starting to bother him. His hand clenched around his beer, but he didn't drink. He didn't think he'd even taken three sips.

Mal plopped down next to him and crossed his arms. "How many times so far?"

" _Four._ "

"Hm. Must be the day for it, Kaylee's had at least two passes."

Jayne forced his eyes to move from Simon's figure when his baobei felt his gaze and turned to look at him. He hadn't given it much thought, their latest job. It hadn't been a lot of work and the whorehouse had been willing to pay actual money for their legitimate services as temporary guards from rowdy drunks and puritanical jerks until their actual guards arrived. The building had been growing in prominence for the last few years, but after several 'pranks' and fights with drunken customers, they had decided they needed a bit of muscle.

"I hate this," he growled.

"I can tell," Mal replied with a laugh.

Zoe joined them with a beer, seeming surprisingly a bit better the past few weeks. He couldn't really say what was different, it just was. He wasn't very good with words or describing things, that was more Simon's area. "Something the matter, Jayne?"

"It appears," Mal answered for him, "that Jayne is upset that some drunken shagua have been trying to hire Simon."

Jayne let fly a slew of curses under his breath. "Can't they see he ain't a whore?! He don't look like one, dress like one, or act like one!"

"They're drunk, Jayne," Zoe told him.

"So?!"

"So? When you're drunk, you put the moves on anything that moves," Mal told him.

A hand fluttered in Simon's hair, the last person that Simon had politely told him to shove off, and Jayne was already standing in fuming anger. Mal's hand yanked on his elbow hard, pulling him back into his seat as his lover pulled away from the hand and once again, politely sent them on their way.

"Didn't think you'd be so protective with someone you love," Zoe muttered, staring at him as if he'd just sprouted two more heads. "Or is it possessive?"

"It ain't right!" Jayne hissed under his breath. "Why didn't ya let me go over there?!"

"Because I don't think we really need you getting into a fight when we're trying to relax in our well-earned reward." Mal took a gulp of his own beer, seeming completely at ease. His eyes, along with Simon's, always kept a lookout on River, who seemed to enjoy wandering the room, but she had been silent the entire night and no trouble had come from that area.

By the time they returned to the ship three hours later, Jayne was fit to be tied and he stalked to his bunk without so much as a word to anyone. He could feel the curious eyes from Inara, Kaylee, and Simon over the fact that he was angry, but that he wasn't drunk. He'd been too busy glowering at the fact that Mal _wouldn't_ let him intervene. Given his attitude, it wasn't a surprise to him that Simon showed up in his bunk less than twenty minutes later.

"Jayne? What's wrong?"

He turned and swept Simon up into his arms, holding him tight. He couldn't stand still though, so he let go and started to pace, as much as he could in his bunk. "It ain't right!"

"What?"

"Them drunks always comin' on to you and even darin' to touch you! I wanted to break their skulls! I wanted to stand up and shout 'hands off, he's mine!'"

Simon smiled at him. "I appreciate the sentiment, but I'm glad you didn't."

He gave Simon an evil eye. "Why?"

"Because it means as much as you wanted to, you trusted me to handle it on my own. If I couldn't, if I wasn't able to, I know you would have helped me, but otherwise, you let me do it on my own, and I appreciate that."

Well...it had been more of Mal forcibly stopping him than any self-control on his part. "I hate it, Simon."

"Hate what?"

"I don't mind people _lookin'_ , but I don't want anyone touchin' ya but me."

For a moment, Simon didn't say anything and he felt his heart jump a little in nerves. He was aware that he could be a bit possessive, but that was because he'd so rarely had anything of his own. He loved Simon, as hard as that was to really believe at times, and he didn't want to lose him. The problem was, if he went overboard, what would Simon do?

"You know that I would never cheat on you?"

"Aww, hell, I know that, Simon!"

"Then you don't have to worry so much."

That was pretty much impossible, but Jayne would try, for Simon. He flopped back on his bed and stared at the ceiling. His attention shifted when he felt his lover straddle his hips. With a grin, his hands lifted and they slipped beneath the loose shirt that Simon wore. "What's this all about?"

"You can't guess?"

Jayne sat up and held Simon close. All he did was stare into the doctor's eyes for several minutes, before he murmured, "...I love you, baobei."

Simon stared at him and he had the unique pleasure of watching a cherry-red color come to his lover's cheeks in a blush. "I think you're a closet romantic." Before Jayne could be disappointed in that answer, Simon leaned forward and pressed his lips lightly to the mercenary's ear. "I love you too."

That night, Jayne pampered Simon until the doctor was ready to scream. He took it slower, touching every bit of skin that he got his hands on and wanting nothing more than to overload the man's senses until he didn't even know who he was anymore. When they were both done, when they could barely move, Jayne gathered Simon up in his arms and held him tight. His fingers drew half-aware patterns on his lover's spine and idly watched as Simon slowly drifted off to sleep.

He looked much sexier when he was relaxed.

It was a few hours later when Simon woke up and Jayne was still studying him. "Something the matter?"

"Why'd you pick _Serenity_?"

His lover tilted his head. "On Persephone?" Seeing Jayne nod, Simon shifted on his back and stared up at the ceiling. Jayne's hand couldn't help flattening out and caressing that taut stomach that was before him. "If you want me to be brutally honest, it was because it seemed decrepit on the outside. Well, perhaps decrepit is a harsh word. She didn't look respectable at all. I was thinking through adrenaline and nerves at the time, so it seemed like a good idea at the time. I figured that a small ship would escape notice, particularly one that didn't look in good repair. That meant, at the time, that there wouldn't be a lot of people or traffic. The less people, the more safe that I felt we would be." Simon shifted his head to look at him. "Why do you ask?"

"Curious. You ain't the type to normally be on a ship like this."

"I consider myself to be very lucky. We have a safe place, safe as can be, to call a home and, well..."

"Well what?"

"I found you." Jayne shifted and sat up, feeling the curious eyes of his baobei following him. "Is something wrong?"

"Nah, not really. Jus' thinkin' about what I done."

"Ariel?"

"Yeah. Ain't somethin' I'm proud of, Simon. Wish I'd never done it. Never hated myself before the way I hated myself then an' it only got worse when you'd look at me like that."

Simon sat up and brushed his hands over Jayne's strong back, placing a few soft kisses on his shoulderblades. "Like what?"

"Like I was somethin' special, before you knew. I was like a hero to you, and I wasn't nothin' of the sort. You said you trust me and forgive me an' all, but I don't know if I forgive myself yet." Jayne looked into the eyes of his lover. "I'm really sorry 'bout that, Simon."

"I know. I know you're sorry about Ariel, like I'm sorry about Miranda."

"What about Miranda is yer fault?"

"If I hadn't brought River here, Miranda wouldn't have happened. Wash and Shepherd Book would still be alive. It's not something that's easy to stomach."

Jayne shifted, bracing his back against the wall and watching as Simon shifted to straddle his lap. His hands stroked the doctor's sides, staring into blue eyes. They were both still naked, but sex didn't even come into play right then. "You ever regret it? Comin' here to _Serenity_?"

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't occasionally," Simon told him honestly. "It's times when I think of the lives that have been lost and the suffering that I begin to regret. Then I remember Mal, Zoe, Kaylee, Wash... I remember the crew and I don't regret it. Then I remember you and I feel glad." Simon's hands ran through Jayne's goatee and then up through his hair. "I forgive you for Ariel, Jayne. Just try to forgive yourself, okay?"

He wasn't sure if he could do that completely, but he would try. He would try his best for Simon, because he could see hidden in those eyes mild distress that he was still upset over it. Or that's what Jayne thought it was anyway. "You know I'll probably end up hurtin' you some, right? I ain't good with words. We're gonna fight."

"I know, but I'm not about to let that stop me from being with you."

Jayne gave Simon a winning smile and kissed him. "Glad to hear that, 'cause I ain't about to let you go easy."

There was a flash of a smile just before Simon leaned in and Jayne grew lost in their kissing. There was something addicting about Simon's soft, pale lips. He had gained some tan, but he was still fairly pale. There was no denying that he liked the fact that Simon had some muscles on him. He could feel them in Simon's back. They weren't like his own, but they were there nonetheless. In contrast to his appearance, Simon had some strength to him.

"Hey," Jayne muttered, managing to pull himself away from those lips for a moment.

"What?"

"You ever get yesself kidnapped by hillbillies again, I'll get angry."

Simon laughed. "It was hardly my fault."

"Jus' be more careful! Worry me sick, with your luck."

"It wasn't an everyday occurrence!"

"Nah, yer right. Not only do you get kidnapped, you also jump from the rafters onto a heavily armed lawman, get shot by bounty hunters, _and_ almost died on Miranda." Jayne frowned heavily. "I ain't approvin' of those activities, Simon."

"You do them all the time!"

"That's different."

"How?"

He sighed. "I'm hired for that tzao gao. S'what I do."

Simon frowned at him. "So what exactly would you like me to do? Sit my room and chew my fingernails? I'm not some precious doll or priceless china."

Jayne didn't like where this was going one bit. "I ain't sayin' that, Simon, jus' that you need to be more careful! Yer gettin' some bad habits of bein' shot lately."

"So it's all right for you and not for me?"

He rubbed his face with his hands, growing tired of the argument. "Yer the doc, Simon. You get shot, who fixes you? Yeah, Zoe did it the first time, knowin' some doctorin' and all, but after Miranda, some Alliance docs had to patch you up, you was so bad."

Simon crossed his arms. "I'm not about to intentionally put myself in harms way to prove a point, but I won't sit back and hide if I'm needed either. That's the best that I can offer you."

He hadn't realized just how stubborn his lover could be. Jayne hadn't even brought up the fairly recent job where he'd had to take two bullets for Simon, otherwise he probably would have been severely injured. Jayne wasn't denying that they had a dangerous job and it was dangerous for everyone involved, but he really didn't like it when it started to impinge on something precious. Dimly he was starting to see why Mal had been so against it. It was a weakness, dividing attention and it was hard to think straight around the idea that Simon could be hurt.

"Let's just sleep," he muttered, pulling Simon down into the bed and resolutely closing his eyes.

He found Zoe alone in the cockpit the next day. She looked up at hearing Jayne's heavy footfalls from where she had been quietly contemplating Wash's dinosaurs on the dash. He shifted nervously. "Got a question."

She sat down in one of the chairs and leaned back. "What is it?"

"It's...personal. 'Bout you and Wash."

Zoe tensed and he could almost hear her thinking to herself in the stillness. This probably wasn't the best time, considering it wasn't even a year after Wash's death, but he needed some help from someone that had been in his situation before. "Ask."

Jayne sat down in the other chair. "So...how'd you deal with it? Bein' in love with Wash and the fact that this is a dangerous job?" She didn't answer so he elaborated out of nerves. "I mean, Simon's been shot an awful lot lately and he has this annoying thing where he stupidly does things like take on armed gunmen when he ain't got nothin' protectin' him and no weapons. I jus' want him to be more careful is all and, ya know, not get shot that often, but he gets mad when I tell 'im that. Tells me that I do it all the time. Well, it's different! That's my job, right? An' I know how to fight at least!"

He blinked in surprise when Zoe chuckled a little. "It's strange to hear you say the things that went through my mind. I know what you're going through, Jayne. Do you remember Niska? I was so scared when he was taken that I could barely see straight, but I had to keep it together. I told myself that there was no way I was going to let him die. It becomes one thing at a time."

"Yeah, but how do you explain to him to be more careful? That it's different in our job?"

"Well...you can't. Wash never stopped worrying when we were out on our deals. Everyone is going to get hurt, Jayne. It's inevitable, the work that we do. It comes down to the fact that you can't control them. You just have to let them be and just be grateful that things turn out good. Berating them after they get hurt won't accomplish anything because chances are, it's not their fault. I would have preferred to keep Wash here and never let him go on the deals. He wasn't like me. I went through the war, my parents were both military. I had better skills than him. I couldn't make him stay though. To do so is to an insult. I can't say it comes down to trust, because trust has nothing to do with it. It's just hope that things don't go badly. Hope is all you have, Jayne. It's the same everywhere. Hope that when a loved one leaves the house to go down to the store that they don't get shot and mugged, that they make it back the same as they left. It's a little more perilous out here, but the principle is the same."

"So...you're sayin' there ain't nothin' I can do."

"To make sure he's absolutely safe and won't ever get hurt again? No, there isn't. Just do the best you can to protect him and accept that things like that happen. To be there for him when it does and help him recover."

"That's gonna be...gorram difficult."

She laughed at him again. "Ain't it though."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chur ni-duh: Screw you  
> baobei: sweetheart  
> shagua: fool, damned fool, idiot  
> tzao gao: crap
> 
> (I _think_ Simon's eyes are blue. That's what I've heard anyway. I can't really tell when I watch the episodes. I zoomed in even, but I can only tell they're light colored.  
>  Chinese translations: <http://fireflychinese.kevinsullivansite.net/>)
> 
> I wanted to explore what happens after the initial start. Things aren't going to be easy and I can't help but feel that the argument Jayne and Simon had is probably one that Zoe and Wash had. Granted, it's a mild argument, but I can see it cropping up in the future. This was a little harder to write as there isn't much of an arcing idea to hold it together like the first part. It's pretty much just scenes that are loosely connected through timeline.  
> 


	3. The Past Catches Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A tattoo and an old flame.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how tattooing works, or whether it would have changed in the future. Just figure Jayne's probably got the tools and know-how since he mentions it in 'Ariel'. )

"Hey you!"

Simon blinked, turning to look at the voice that rose above the crowd noise. He didn't even know if it was being called to him, but he'd instinctively looked. When their eyes met, he was apparently the one that was being hailed. "Yes?"

"You look like you've got some good skin. You want a tattoo?"

"What?" Out of surprise, he found himself stepping to the side, out of the flow of traffic, and next to the stall. There was a small building behind the man, where he assumed the actual tattooing took place.

"You want a tattoo?" the man asked, attempting to sell the idea to him. "You look like a...rose sort. What about a rose tattoo, with a lover's name?" Seeing his unconvinced expression, the man gave him a good once-over in his casual clothes. As casual as Simon could be in his button shirt and somewhat worn pants. "What about a cat? You're a cat person, right?"

Well his neighbors had had a cat that he'd been fond of playing with when he was little. He could remember the soft fur of the Siamese cat and how she'd wind around his ankles. She had always been sort of aloof when she didn't want to be petted, but it appeared more as if she 'humored' him as a child.

The man, clearly wondering if he was getting somewhere, pulled out a worn notebook and started showing him pictures. Simon caught flashes of naked women, men, dragons, and all kinds of things as they passed by while he flipped to the section with cats. "'Course these are just guides, I can make any kind of cat picture. How about on the back of yer shoulder, or yer arm? Bring in the ladies, I bet!"

Simon tilted his head, thinking of Jayne's tattoo. It suited his lover somehow. Was Jayne a 'cat person' too? And was _Simon_ a cat person? He'd never considered himself as a person that leant toward any kind of animal in particular.

"See anything you like? We could put somethin' on yer belly button, or back."

He opened his mouth to tell the man that he wasn't really interested when his name was shouted over the crowd. Inwardly, he rolled his eyes and sighed. Yelling out his name in a crowd was not the best of ideas, but he let it go. A muscled arm was thrown around his shoulders and Jayne looked down at the short man. "Whatcha doin'?"

"Just showin' the man my selection of tattoos so he can find somethin' he likes."

There was a long pause, long enough that Simon looked over his shoulder at Jayne. "He ain't interested," his lover answered, tugging Simon away without his permission.

"Hey," Simon argued. It wasn't that he'd wanted one, but just the fact that he hadn't been allowed to choose.

"What? You wanted one?"

"I might have."

"Hell, Simon, I'll give ya one. I know how it works, but you don't want one from him."

"Why not? What was wrong with him?"

"Didja see his equipment?"

"No. I didn't think to look. I assumed it was inside the building behind him."

"Nah. He does it right there. I seen his type. He sits ya down on a crate and does it right there. Needs to be done in a building _at least_ , so no sand or dirt can get in there."

Simon wrinkled his nose a little. "Or worse."

"Yeah." Jayne, his arm still around Simon's shoulders, led him back inside Serenity. "Didja really want a tattoo?"

"I don't know. I hadn't given it serious thought. What do you think?" he asked out of curiosity.

Jayne looked him up and down and said unexpectedly, "Maybe if it was a small one. You look find the way ya are, but maybe a small one would be fine. Not one like mine."

Seeing as Jayne said he knew how tattooing worked, he asked, "Where would you suggest putting it?"

His lover gave him a smirk and hands slid up the back of his shirt until he could feel thumbs pressing into the small of his back just above his behind. "I'd put it right here," Jayne whispered in his ear. "Maybe tattoo 'Belongs to Jayne Cobb'."

Simon rolled his eyes and smacked Jayne's hands away, but he couldn't help smiling at hearing the mercenary's laughter following his retreating back.

The idea continued to bounce around in his head for awhile, though. If he _did_ get a tattoo, what would he get? He didn't feel a pressing need to get one, but he was curious about it. Jayne surprised him one night, strange how such a big man could move so silently, in his room as he was on the cortex. "Still thinkin' 'bout tattoos?"

He made a sound of agreement and showed him an image he was looking at. Whoever it was had had thorns dancing all up on his spin from the base to his neck. It was kind of elegant, in a way.

"I wouldn't pick that for you."

"Something small," he repeated, seeing Jayne nod. "Why?"

"Ya got beautiful skin, why cover it all up? Still, might be nice to have something somewhere. Like the back idea," Jayne told him, pressing his fingers into the small of Simon's back again.

"Lecher," he teased.

Jayne flashed him a grin. "Yeah, but not only that. Small one right there'd look good."

"In all seriousness, what would you put there?"

"Ain't my body."

"I'm asking you your opinion. If I don't like it, I wouldn't use it. I just want to know what you think."

" _Wouldn't_ pick hearts or anythin', too girly. Skulls and the like ain't right for you either." His lover studied him for a long moment. "Wouldn't pick nothin' medical either. Needs to be _you_." Simon waited patiently as Jayne fell silent and just stared at him, clearly thinking deeply about it. "Mebbe a cat?"

Cats again? "Why?" he asked, honestly curious why everyone kept telling him to get a cat.

"Well, cats are elegant and kinda stand-offish. No offense, baobei, but you can be like that. Some have bright blue eyes like yours too. They'll go when they want, but if ya treat 'em right, they'll always come back. They also like bein' clean, always washin' themselves and laidback, but they can fight like a banshee if ya piss 'em off. _Sharp_ claws too, like yer scalpels."

"You know a lot about cats?"

Jayne shrugged. "Worked with a crew once that had one. It was always in my bunk waitin' for me. S'posed to belong to the cap'n, but he never took care of it. Jus' started takin' care of it by instinct and he kept comin' back. Brushed 'im, washed 'im, fed 'im. Missed that cat when I left. Kept tryin' to go with me too, but he belonged to the cap'n and cap'n kept him. Kinda felt sorry for leavin' 'im there."

Simon turned to the cortex and idly searched for cat pictures. His lover pulled another chair closer and sat on it backwards, arms resting over the back of the chair as he straddled it. They looked in companionable silence, which was fine with Simon. He knew that Jayne wasn't good with words and sometimes they weren't needed anyway.

Twenty minutes later, Jayne finally spoke. "What 'bout that one?" He pointed to a small black cat that seemed to be in the middle of reclining, but had lifted its head as something got his attention, turning luminous eyes on the camera. "That one, with blue eyes."

"Aren't Siamese cats the one with blue eyes?"

"Don't have to be _exact_ , Simon. If yer gonna have a cat an' I'm the one puttin' it there, it's gonna have blue eyes like yours."

Well he had no real argument there. "All right. Tomorrow then?"

"Yeah. Now..."

Simon laughed as those hands slid under the back of his shirt once more, but this time it was definitely for something more carnal.

As it turned out, he didn't get his tattoo until a week later as a job unexpectedly surfaced. Jayne ushered him into the infirmary with a bag under his arm and closed the door, then tinted the windows. "'Kay, take off the shirt an' sit on the chair backwards. Where's some of yer gloves? Don't want you to get nothin' bad."

"That left-hand second drawer." He eyed Jayne, but did as told after he saw that Jayne had found them. One of his trays was appropriated for his lover's bag and he felt bare hands pressing into his back at various intervals down his spine until he came to the base of it. There was a mutter in Chinese and they slid around his front to undo the button on his pants and push them down until some of his behind was visible.

"Jayne?"

"Need to get a good area. Lean forward and get comfy. Gonna take a bit of time."

Simon leaned forward and braced his arms against the back of it, but since it was more of a bed than anything else, he was mostly laying on his stomach. Something damp touched his back and it felt as if Jayne was making sure the area was clean and sterilized. Legs nudged his to straddle what he could of the side of the chair. It wasn't the most comfortable, but he could see why a moment later as Jayne sat down a little further back. "You want a shot of painkiller, Simon? Probably gonna hurt some."

"I'll be fine."

Jayne eyed him skeptically, but got to work, pressing a small needle into back as he worked to create the cat on his back. After the first minute, he was really starting to wish he had agreed. Apparently by the tension in his shoulders, Jayne got the message. "Thought you'd change yer mind."

"I rather wished you'd insisted on it. Top shelf."

Jayne brought him both the painkiller and the needle and he quickly administered the drug. Only when it had taken effect did Jayne continue what he was doing. Like in his room, they were quiet, but mostly because Simon didn't want to distract Jayne. Fifteen minutes in and he heard voices coming closer, the door opening.

"Doc--oh." Simon was about to turn his head when Jayne growled, using the sound to tell him not to.

"Heya Mal."

"What are you doing?"

Simon wished he could see what was going on. Jayne grunted. "What's it look like?"

"Oh, that's pretty, Simon!" Kaylee told him.

"Really? Is it turning out well?"

"Yeah. Though why'd you get it there? You can't see it for yerself."

"I could with a mirror."

"Could you both _not_ be here right now?"

"Why is that?" Mal asked him, his voice seeming full of vague amusement as Simon heard another pair of booted feet approach.

"Nice tattoo," Zoe murmured.

"I ain't wantin' all three of ya lookin' at Simon's ass crack! Only I can do that! An' everybody stop leanin' over me, makes me nervous!"

"Jayne!" Simon argued, feeling a blush go all the way up his cheeks.

"...I could do without some of that mental imagery," Mal muttered. "I think we'd best leave it to Jayne."

"Good luck! I've got a mirror you can use later, Simon," Kaylee called.

Silence descended as six feet left the infirmary and Jayne resolutely closed the door. He muttered under his breath in Chinese again. "You okay? You need another shot?"

"No, I'm fine." This time he was telling the truth. The area that Jayne was working on was still pleasantly numb to most sensations.

He honestly had no idea how long it took, as he fell asleep at some point. The next thing Simon knew, Jayne was shaking his shoulder. "Hey, baobei. All done. You know what happens an' all after that? With the skin flakin' an' all?"

"Yes. We've had some come to the hospital after some bad jobs."

Jayne shifted and settled on the long chair, letting Simon sit in his lap. "Gonna let it dry for now an' all. Keep it clean for awhile an' all that."

He leaned in and kissed Jayne lightly. "Does it look good?"

"Yeah. Eyes are just like yers. Black fur and white feet."

"White feet? Wasn't it all black in the picture?"

"Had ta give it white feet. Black for yer hair, and white for yer skin, and blue for yer eyes."

"You put a lot of thought into that."

"It's for my baobei, I had to." He smiled a little. Really, sometimes Jayne could be-- "'Sides, where it is now is right above one of yer best features!" Just to prove his point, Jayne gave him a lecherous smile and squeezed his ass.

Still very crass. Simon just shook his head. That was just like his Jayne.

~!~!~!~!~

The last person Jayne expected to see in his bunk, waiting for him, was River. She was wearing those really tight, skin tight really, shorts and that loose shirt. They were both items that Kaylee had given her and they emphasized her figure. As usual, she was barefoot.

"Uh..."

"Take me shopping."

Jayne blinked. "What?"

"Persephone. Take me shopping."

Well they were landing in two hours, but he really wasn't keen on spending a lot of time with River. He knew that this was the sister of his lover, but she freaked him out. Something about her reading his thoughts scared him. He had things up there that he didn't want anyone knowing, and other things he didn't in particular want _Simon_ knowing.

Still, with the way she was looking at him, he thought it wasn't wise to argue. It was a look that he knew well from Kaylee and Zoe, and placed on River's face, it was instant obedience in him. He'd learned that look meant that womenfolk could make him _very_ sorry if he didn't obey. "...Okay."

Rather than letting him leave, as if reading the fact that he probably would have attempted to 'disappear' just in time, River sat on his bunk and trained her intense eyes on him the entire two hours. He tried to concentrate on cleaning his guns and sharpening his knives, but it was nerve-wracking. She even escorted him to the open cargo bay doors when they landed, pulling shoes she had hidden in his room somewhere on her feet. Simon spotted them and he could see the confusion in his eyes. "River? Jayne? Where are you going?"

"Shopping," she told him, wrapping her arms around one of Jayne's.

Simon glanced between the two and Jayne couldn't begin to decipher the look on the doctor's face. Was he jealous or worried? If he was worried, was it about Jayne or River? Maybe both? What was that expression if it wasn't either of those emotions?

"I don't know if that's wise, River..."

"I'll take care of her," Jayne found himself saying. Surprise flitted over Simon's features and he couldn't help feeling a just a tiny bit annoyed. Did Simon really think that he'd hurt her or turn her in? Hadn't he made it clear that he was sorry? Then again, Simon was always worrying over River no matter what, he told himself.

"Safe with Jayne," River added and started pulling Jayne from the ship. He glanced over his shoulder and there was a different but equally complicated look on Simon's face.

For a bit, River had them wander through the streets with no apparent destination in mind. He didn't know what she planned on 'shopping' for, since he doubted she had any money. Turned out he was right because she eventually led him to a small area where there were no people around. One of the few grassy areas left on Persephone. It was also a hill, which meant he had a good look at the shipyard.

"You love Simon?"

Jayne looked at her, but she was staring down at Serenity instead of him. "Don't you already know that?"

"Do you?" she insisted, looking at him.

"...I do," he answered after a minute.

"You'd do anything for Simon?"

"Yeah."

"Die for him?"

His eyes flickered down, making sure she didn't have any weapons in her hands. Not that she needed weapons to be deadly. She could probably, twig as she was, snap his neck. He didn't trust what he saw with her after seeing her take out the entire bar. "Yeah." Jayne shifted awkwardly. "Look, I know yer Simon's sis an' I--"

"Not relevant."

"What?"

"I'm not relevant." River sat down, drawing her legs up to her chest. "All that matters is Simon and you."

He frowned. "That ain't true."

She looked at him in surprise.

"It ain't!" he argued. "You mean the world to Simon, mebbe more'n me. He can't be with someone that you don't like." Jayne's hands clenched on his belt. "...I'm sorry, 'bout Ariel. Really. Yer freaky and kinda scare me, but I did wrong by you an' Simon."

"...Thank you."

"For what?"

"Honesty." She settled back on the grass. "Glad Simon found you. Glad you found Simon."

That was odd... It wasn't so much found; they were always on the ship. "Uh...yeah."

"Hurt him and I'll kill you with my brain."

Jayne shivered. "I hear that."

He waited, impatient to be off, while she relaxed on the grass for the next two hours. Once she felt ready to go, she wouldn't let him go to Serenity immediately. Instead, she made him buy, from his own money, a shirt. For a minute, he thought it was for Simon, but she held it close to herself and appeared to be measuring it. Just as they reached the cargo bay doors, she stopped him and handed him the shirt she'd been carrying. "Give it to Simon."

"Why don't you give it to him?"

"It's from you, to Simon."

"You picked it out--"

She stared into his eyes. "It's from _you_ to Simon."

Well he wasn't about to argue there if she was going to give him the creepy eyes... "If you say so."

For all that River insisted that he give it to Simon, he had no real reason to. Sure, he'd settled those gifts on Simon's pillow for no reason other than he wanted to, but something this nice should be kept for a special occasion. It wasn't the really high class things that he was sure his lover was used to, but it definitely was more than a random t-shirt. It was the softest cotton that he'd ever felt. It would probably be slightly loose on Simon, but that was nice. It wasn't a button-up kind, so he could lounge around in it and relax. So instead of giving it to him right away, Jayne hid it in his bunk. Being so polite, he knew that Simon wouldn't be going through his things.

Much to everyone's frustration, a brand new warrant for Simon and River flooded the cortex. Apparently that Operative didn't have as much pull as he thought he did, because the Alliance wasn't about to let either of the siblings go without a fight. They had an aggressive ad campaign going, 'debunking' the Miranda broadcast. Jayne privately thought it was a little late for that. They'd fumbled the ball by not replying to the broadcast until months later, so by now, everyone pretty much believed it.

At first, Jayne didn't notice it. It was just a small cough and even seemed under Simon's doctorly radar. Then again, it helped that he distracted his lover, particularly with sex. It wasn't until he was dragged back by Mal and Zoe from a job gone bad. After all, when had a job ever gone _right_?

"It's just a shallow wound," Simon murmured as he examined the cut on his leg. "It shouldn't even need stitches."

He coughed into his hand without thinking about it. "Great."

Simon looked up in surprise. "How long have you had that cough?"

Jayne blinked. "Huh?" He thought back over the last month. "'Bout a week, why?"

His lover frowned. "Why didn't you mention it?"

"Didn't think I needed to. I feel _fine_ , Simon. Really."

Completely disregarding what he said, Simon turned to grab something from a drawer. Jayne tried to lean around to see what it was, but he might as well not have bothered. His lover held out a thermometer. "Put it under your tongue and leave it there for a bit."

"Awww, Simon, do I hafta? I toldja I feel fine!"

There was no getting out of it no matter how Jayne wheedled and he sat there with Simon watching him the whole time. Whenever he looked as if he was about to speak, a dangerous glint appeared in the doctor's eyes and he thought better of the impulse. After a minute, Simon took the thermometer from him. "Well, it's not particularly unusual. It's a degree or two higher than normal, but nothing to really cause alarm."

"See? An' I was just in a fight, so that could account for it, right?"

"Possibly," Simon acknowledged hesitantly.

"Don't worry about it then." He kissed his lover's forehead and stood up, leaving the infirmary.

A few hours later, he was seriously wishing he hadn't done that. His plan had been to take a shower, clean his guns, go to dinner, and then maybe get in some lovin' time with Simon. Everything went out the air ducts halfway through cleaning his guns. His throat felt unbelievably scratchy and actually hurt when he coughed, something he was keen to note after Simon brought it up. Jayne barely finished reassembling the gun he was cleaning before he laid himself flat out on the bed, hoping a nap would fix it all. Logically, he knew that wouldn't happen, but he was feeling too embarrassed to admit what he felt because he'd been so sure to Simon earlier that he was fine.

He shouldn't have worried. The next time he woke up, Simon was already there and giving him a shot. "Nngh. Simon? Whatcha doin'?"

"You missed dinner, so I came to check on you. Good thing I did, you're running a fever."

"I am?" He swallowed thickly and winced when it only made his throat hurt. "What is it?"

Simon set the needle aside and sat down next to Jayne on his bed. There was a grave look on his face that made Jayne's heart plummet to his feet. "Jayne, I don't know how to tell you this. I'm sorry to say..."

How was he going to explain that he was going to die to his Mum?

"...that you have the common cold."

She'd cry--wait, what? "Wait, what?" he demanded hoarsely.

Simon, the little bastard, was _smirking_ at him! Even...was that a fucking giggle?! "Little shit..."

"I-I'm sorry," Simon told him, in between laughter. "R-Really. I couldn't help it. You just looked so concerned and worried!"

Jayne growled. "I'll show you worry!" He yanked Simon onto the bed and loomed over him before he proceeded to tickle Simon in places that he was sure his lover hadn't known he'd noticed. Cold or no, Jayne found a grin coming to his face. He was proud of Simon for even thinking of teasing him like that! How dare he use his doctor-background to scare a man silly like that!

"No, no, you really should rest!" Simon managed to get out of his laughter as he attempted to squirm away from Jayne.

"Where d'ya think yer goin'?" Jayne pinned Simon onto his back with his own body weight, but he at least stopped torturing Simon for a short bit. "Didn't think my baobei would be so evil and cruel to torture a guy worried over his health."

"You honestly didn't think it was anything serious, did you?" Simon retorted, looking over his shoulder.

"Nah, not really, but ya had me goin' there for a minute."

There was that smirk again. "Yes, I did, didn't I?"

"I must be a bad influence on you."

"Just _terrible_ , I know. Now rest!"

It wasn't so bad, having Simon pamper him while he was sick. He took advantage wherever he could get it, having Simon fetch him near everything. The rest of the crew seemed to find amusement in this, even River. However, by the time Jayne managed to kick the cold, it had already spread. It was as if it had bounced from him to Simon, then Simon to Zoe and on and on. River was one of the last to get it, but get it she did. Inara had to cancel her appointments and all jobs they'd had on the line were canceled or put on hold.

Jayne didn't like how Simon stayed in the infirmary during the cold-crisis. Even when he was nearly coughing up a lung himself, he was in there with someone else and trying to fix them. He also seemed to ignore Jayne when he stood in the doorway with his arms crossed and glared. How was anyone supposed to get better when their doctor was just as sick as them? It seemed particularly virulent because the atmosphere was entirely made up of recycled air. Simon was the first to notice this, and the fact that likely, any who got over the cold would just get sick again in short order because of that.

Mal put them down on the nearest moon he could find. Jayne opened the cargo bay to allow fresh air to get inside the ship, noting that there was a small town nearby, but not much else. Pretty sparse, all things considered. Still, the fresh air helped. Kaylee started to perk up a bit despite still being sick as a dog and Jayne was often sent into town to pick up whatever it was Simon decided they needed to recover.

Stuck on the planet for a week and a half didn't do much for Jayne. He spent most of the time working out or in the cargo bay. The doors were open most of the time and no one wanted any 'unfriendly' people on board. It was a hard thing to kick and Kaylee, when she was better, flushed the entire system and brought in new air, just to make sure that it was gone.

Mal and Zoe disappeared for a few hours and when they came back, Jayne could tell something was up even before the crew was gathered in the galley.

"As I'm sure we've all noticed by now, we're better. What you don't know is how low we are on money. We damn near spent all of our combined shares on fresh food and medicine. We'll run low on fuel soon and we don't have enough to buy more at this juncture."

"You wouldn't have brought us here if you didn't have a solution," Simon said.

"You're right about that. In town, Zoe and I ran across a mercenary band that are looking to get offworld. They're willing to give us half now and half later. That half now will get us the fuel for a five day push to where they want to go and the rest we can start saving money again, or get whatever else we need. The amount isn't anything to sneer at. _However_ , given the renewed warrants and the fact that mercenaries by nature are rarely good at keeping quiet, much less not taking advantage of what they see, I don't want them seein' hide nor hair of Simon and River. This means that for five days, you two will be confined to a bunk. Simon, you'll stay with Jayne for obvious reasons. There are a few of these mercenaries and we'll put them in the guest rooms, so move your stuff to Jayne's bunk. River, you'll stay in mine." Seeing Kaylee's look, Mal explained, "I know you two are good friends and all, but these are rough guys. In fact, I want you to stay in Zoe's room and keep yours locked. Inara, keep your shuttle locked at all times and someone will 'escort' you back and forth without making it obvious that we're doing just that."

"Are they really that bad?" Inara asked quietly.

"They have a...mixed reputation and I don't want to chance behaviors, particularly if they decide to get rowdy or drunk or both. That's why at night, we'll rotate who stays up. Zoe, Jayne, and myself will take turns keeping an eye on the ship at night just to make sure no one 'wanders'. I don't like this any more than the rest of you, but we need the fare."

There were silent nods and Jayne followed behind Simon as he headed for his room to pick up his things. River didn't seem to have much more than a handful, mostly clothes. Simon actually had things to pack and move.

"I realize that the Captain is right, but I still don't like it."

Jayne sighed. "This time I think ya got a right to worry. Mercenaries ain't the most trustworthy of folk." He pulled Simon close, disrupting him from packing. "I'll make sure ya safe, though. You an' River."

"...Thank you, Jayne."

He was infinitely glad that Mal didn't tell him that he couldn't wear any guns when the mercenaries boarded. There were four men and one woman, all dressed in as good a fashion as money could afford in the mercenary business. Obviously they had had some good times. As Mal pasted on a smile and greeted them, Jayne studied the leader of their guests. He looked shifty as all hell and his hand unconsciously began to creep toward the gun on his holster...

"Jayne?!"

Everyone blinked at the bright, feminine voice and Jayne turned just in time. She leapt up into his arms and he nearly fell over at the sudden weight. He finally got a good look at her and almost gasped. "Carrie?"

Mal was giving him that look that said he was in for it, but he'd honestly had no idea that his former sex buddy was part of the mercenary group. Once he'd left the last group they'd been in together, he hadn't seen her for a good two years or more.

"Heya, cute stuff!"

Jayne leaned back against the mule as he attempted to divest himself from the new Carrie-Vest he had attached to his front. She sensed his struggling and thankfully stood on her own two feet. "Carrie, yer part of this group?"

Carrie winked at him. "Well, yeah. Good pay, exciting work, I can see all kinds of new places. Talk about shiny, right? Why don't you join? You'd like it here."

He could feel Mal and Zoe's intent eyes on him. "Nah, I'm good here. Got my own bunk an' everythin'."

As soon as he said the words, Jayne knew that it was a mistake. She smirked at him and leaned in close. "I look forward to seeing it."

"Captain, if you wouldn't mind?" Mal muttered, addressing the leader of the group.

"Carrie!" The voice was harsh and uncompromising in its authority, and much to Jayne's surprise, Carrie scampered over back to the group. He could still see her energy and brightness in her eyes that said she'd rather be doing what she had been doing, but she was obedient to her boss.

Jayne didn't listen too closely to Mal's long rundown of what was and wasn't allowed for their group. In truth, he was feeling very uncomfortable with Carrie around. He was a man and she had a great body, that didn't leave much choice in the matter of his arousal, but he certainly wasn't about to act on it with Simon in the picture. His biological reaction notwithstanding, he couldn't help but feel bad that Simon was going to be stuck in his room for five days and he'd have to dodge Carrie for five days, and hope she didn't just go in his room without his permission and find Simon and--

This was going to be a really _long_ week.

Mal gestured at him as the group broke up and Zoe showed their guests to their temporary quarters.

"So?"

Jayne grimaced. "Carrie was a sex buddy coupla years ago. That's _all_ we was, Mal. Carrie didn't want nothin' permanent, neither did I. In fact, I don't really want her on this ship at all after everythin' with Simon." Mal's face was deceptively blank and Jayne wondered what was going on in there. "An' don't you even start thinkin' that I'm gonna cheat on Simon, I can--"

"I know."

"What?"

Mal actually smiled at him a little. "I know. You might love sex, Jayne, but you _can_ control your impulses. In that at least, I'm sure you'll remain faithful to Simon. Just don't expect him to be happy about the fact that she's clearly going to be chasin' tail the entire time she's on this ship and he's stuck in a room constantly worrying."

"He should learn to trust me!"

"It ain't a matter of trust, Jayne. It's a bit of jealousy and while I'm sure he trusts you, there's still that thought in the back of his head. He trusts you; he _won't_ trust her."

"Hell, if Carrie ever attempts to force me, I'd actually be kinda humbled. Pretty rare for a woman to try shovin' a man down, ya know. I'm kiddin'!" Jayne added, seeing a disapproving look sent his way.

"I want you to be very alert. You're responsible for Simon's safety."

"Speaking of which..." Jayne paused them near the cockpit. "Why'd you put River in yer room? You ain't movin' from Inara to River, are ya?"

Mal stared at him as if he'd just lost his mind. "Are you crazy? She's sixteen, Jayne! No, I put her with me for the same reason I insisted that Kaylee stays with Zoe in her bunk and doesn't wander around the engine room at night. Hell, if there was one more person here, I'd bunk Inara up with someone too, but there ain't no one else and she can lock that shuttle door good and tight. That, and I hope she doesn't show up all that often in five days so there's less of a target."

"What's the thinkin'?"

"I just don't want any _temptation_ around. I'm not saying I don't trust their word that they'll behave, but I'd rather not tempt it all the same. Like I said, they don't exactly got the shiniest reputation in this side of the 'verse. I'll take rounds tonight, Zoe tomorrow night, and you after that. Then me, and Zoe, and if all goes to plan, they'll be off the day after that."

"Shiny," Jayne said in acknowledgment.

~!~!~!~!~

"You're...what?"

"Sex friend."

Simon's face was flat and disapproving as he sat on the bed. "Sex friend."

"Yeah. Coupla years ago we got into the habit of sexin' each other in between jobs. We was only friends with some sexin' on the side, Simon. It ain't like what I feel for you." Jayne paused. "Ya trust me not to cheat on ya? 'Cause it has to cross yer mind while yer sittin' in here all day and I'm out there."

"I can't say it didn't cross my mind when you mentioned her, but I know you won't. I just don't trust her not to put you in some ambiguous situations that will make you uncomfortable." Simon did something Jayne had rarely seen the doctor do: fidget. "After all, heat of the moment sort of thing. I'm not saying you would, but it might get a little...frisky before you can pull away?"

Jayne couldn't tell if he was annoyed or not over what Simon was thinking, but at least he told him about it and that he gave his lover points for. He was glad that Simon at least was confident enough in their relationship to speak his mind. "She can be a bit pushy, an' she might get me aroused, but first place I'll come is here, 'cause yer the only one I want to be sexin'." He leaned over Simon, enjoying the way it forced Simon to bend his neck to look straight up at him. "Only one I love is you, baobei, so stop thinkin' like that. I need you to trust me."

They both knew that this would be a big test of their relationship. Would Simon get jealous and how bad? How far would that trust go, particularly after Ariel? Simon had said that he'd forgiven him, but what about in his subconscious? If Simon couldn't trust him when faced with an old sex friend, Jayne couldn't see how the relationship was going to last when he had never stayed his sexual desires before now. It didn't mean he couldn't, but that he just hadn't had a reason to.

Now he did.

"I do and I will," Simon told him, his face resolute, and Jayne nodded. He'd believe him, but still watch.

Jayne wasn't surprised at Carrie's aggressiveness so soon; Carrie had never waited to get what she wanted and so therefore when she showed up during his weight-lifting sessions, he expected her in some degree. "Need a spotter?"

"Sure." He put down the hand weights and relaxed on the bench as she lowered the bar in his hands. Jayne had always viewed Carrie as a good male friend stuck in a female body. She enjoyed weight-lifting, cleaning guns, a good fight. There wasn't anyone better to have as an ally, and no one worse to have as an enemy, except for maybe Mal. He'd known people that she'd carried a grudge against for _years_ and the moment she saw them again, she tried to tear their eyes out.

As she spotted him, he spotted her and their weight-lifting was also a way to catch up. They swapped outrageous job stories to see which trumped them all, but Jayne privately thought he won, hands down, after the jobs that went completely wrong since meeting Mal. Still, most of the _really_ good ones that would have beat hers, he couldn't tell because they involved Simon and his sister. Before long, Jayne felt as if they had never parted. Kaylee gave them concerned glances as she made her way up from the engine room to dinner, but didn't say anything.

It was as Jayne was putting away the equipment that her first advance came. Her arms slipped around him from behind to stroke his chest. "What, is this a new scar I feel beneath this shirt? It runs...almost the length of your chest."

He shivered as she lightly touched the scar left behind by River and her butcher's knife before he stepped away. "No, Carrie."

"No what?"

"We ain't pickin' up the sex. I'm bein' faithful."

She burst out laughing, much to his annoyance. He didn't like to be questioned about that because he took _real_ relationships very seriously. "To who? Must be someone on the ship." She pursed her lips as she thought about it. "The warrior woman? What was her name, Zoe? Nah, she's not your type. The little mechanic? I don't mind a threesome, if you don't."

 _Damn!_ Jayne couldn't help the fact that two hot women in bed with him was one tasty image, but he restrained himself, remembering Simon waiting anxiously in worry in his bunk, both in regards to their relationship and being caught. "Well the one I'm datin' isn't a threesome type."

"Then do they have to know?"

Jayne frowned. "Carrie, I realize ya don't mean any disrespect, but I don't like that kind of question. I ain't gonna be unfaithful."

Carrie stared at him in a surprised manner, and he didn't blame her. This side of himself he hadn't any reason to show her before. "You really love her, don't you? Whoever you're with, that is."

"Yeah."

"I...have to think about that." At the sound of stomachs rumbling, she added in an almost shaky fashion that he didn't understand, "Time for chow. Let's go."

For a day after that, Carrie seemed to avoid him. Just like the random nature of her mind, though, she showed up at his workout time again on the third day and acted as if nothing happened. Jayne forgot what they'd talked about and just enjoyed being one of the few that he could actually honestly call a friend. However, things were going too good and apparently some God was attempting to smote him for this horrible crime because it came up _again_.

"Just a one-last-time?"

"No, Carrie." He was trying to be patient, he really was, but it was starting to fray on his last nerve.

Not two hours later, as he was sitting in his bunk with Simon testing out a new game one of the other mercenary men had taught him that somehow took poker and replaced the cards with five six-sided dice, Kaylee abruptly entered the bunk. He looked up as he rolled them out and attempted to show Simon rules that he hadn't quite grasped himself yet. "Hey, Kaylee."

"What'd you say to that woman?!"

Simon stiffened in front of him.

"Whaddaya mean?"

"She just came up to me and talked to me. Said things like askin' if I minded a threesome! Did you tell her we was sweeties or somethin'?!"

Jayne groaned. "Damn it! I didn't! She assumes we are an' I told her to lay off!"

"Well of course she ain't layin' off!"

He blinked at the response, for a moment forgetting how quiet Simon was being. "Why's that?"

"It's _obvious_ , Jayne! She's in love with ya!"

"...Huh?"

Kaylee rolled her eyes. "Ya don't know a lot about women, do ya, Jayne? Yeah, some women can play the 'sex partners' game fine, but most don't and she ain't an exception. She prolly agreed to start with 'cause she loved ya and figured she'd take what she can get!"

"Why didn't she say nothin' then?"

"Because it's obvious you didn't feel the same, or otherwise she would have said something a long time before. She knows your in love now, but she just has a hard time givin' up somethin' she's held onto for so long!"

Part of him wondered if Kaylee was speaking from experience regarding Simon, but there didn't seem to be any pain in her eyes, only annoyance at his stupidity. "Well...uh...what do I do now?"

"Ugh, you figure it out!" The bright mechanic, obviously disgusted at his lack of knowledge in regard to emotions, climbed up the stairs from his bunk and closed the door behind her.

Jayne turned to Simon, who was rolling some of the dice around in his palm. "I didn't, ya know."

"I know."

There wasn't a hint of uncertainty in Simon's voice and Jayne couldn't help smiling at the belief his lover had in him. "Here, I got somethin' for ya."

He nudged Simon off the bed so he could hunt around beneath the mattress for the t-shirt that he'd bought in what seemed eons ago. "Here."

Simon took the somewhat rumpled shirt and softly felt it in his hands. "It looks so comfortable." Jayne watched as the doctor pulled off the shirt he was wearing and exchanged it for the black cotton shirt he had given him. The sleeves were elbow-length but loose and it fell attractively around Simon's shoulders.

Jayne stepped up and wrapped his arms around his lover. "Love you, baobei."

"Thank you, Jayne."

"Welcome."

The next two days were full of tension between Carrie and Jayne even though she acted as if nothing had changed. Mal seemed only too happy to get rid of the group when they landed on Athens and collected the other half of the payment. Nothing untoward had happened, which was clearly making Mal happy that their plan hadn't gone awry. Jayne leaned against some crates as the mercenaries filed out, Carrie stopping at the edge of the ramp.

"I love you, you know," she whispered, her back to him.

Jayne might not have noticed her feelings, but he did notice the shaky tone in her voice as if she was about to cry. "I know," he answered quietly. That was all he had to say and she understood, or he hoped she did, that he couldn't love her back. He had never felt that way about her even before Simon.

"Good."

That was the last he saw of Carrie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> baobei: sweetheart  
> shagua: fool, damned fool, idiot  
> tzao gao: crap


	4. Familial Encounters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting the family is not as easy as it seems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I pretty much, for Jayne's family, used a lot of creative license. As for Gabriel and Reagan, I just can't imagine Gabriel forgiving Simon after only a year or two. He cares, but he has his pride and is still angry.)

"Have you ever wanted to talk to your parents again?"

Simon looked up from his bandaging a wound on Mal's arm. Zoe was quiet as she sat in the corner and waited her turn for a small gash on her forehead. He glanced between them, but though it seemed as if Mal was just making conversation, he had his doubts that that was all it was. "I hadn't thought about it. Why?"

"Oh, nothing." Simon stared heavily at Mal, prompting the captain to shift awkwardly. "Well...we received a wave yesterday as we were leaving planetside. It was passed through some local contacts of mine and it was a recording from your parents. They apparently got in touch--"

"You mean my _mother_ got in touch. My father would never "stoop", as he calls it, to get in touch with the kind of people that are your contacts." After a moment, he added, "No offense."

"None taken," Mal answered, and Simon really had to wonder if that was true or a lie. It was impossible to tell with Mal's serene face. "Just wanted to let you know your options. If you _wanted_ to, then we'd make sure you could talk to them. Unless, of course, you think it's a trap. These are your parents, after all, and you know them better than we do."

Simon gestured to Mal that he was done and changed his gloves as Zoe took the captain's place on the chair. His mother would never set them up, at least willingly. His father, he didn't know about. The man could screw them over, or end up being pleased to see them. It was really a toss-up, as he'd always found his father to be somewhat unpredictable. He'd thought the man would support him in rescuing River even if they'd argued, but instead he'd been disowned. If his mother initiated it, then there would be no plan _willingly_ set up, but neither one of them had any clue how to talk with the 'contacts' of Mal's. It was possible their inquiries could have gotten some 'attention' and there would be a silent ambush waiting.

There was also the question of if he _wanted_ to see them. He'd grown so resentful of them for their abandonment. During the first few months of their new lives in blackness with the crew of the Serenity, sometimes Simon would stare at the ceiling and compose long-winded and righteous speeches and things he would say if he ever saw them again to make them realize their mistake. His mother would cry, his father would look ashamed, and he would partially enjoy their horrified emotions. Then he would feel vaguely guilty at his vindictiveness and try to put it out of his mind.

How would he even explain to them what had happened with River? He had always laughed off those around him that had 'conspiracy theories'; in fact, had someone told him the story of River if he wasn't related to her, he would have thought they were drunk or pulling his leg. Instead, he had seen firsthand the truth. His parents hadn't though. They had also never understood River, really. They tried to treat her like a normal child, but he could still remember their sometimes stunned faces when she surprised them with some of the things she said.

Then there was Jayne. How was he going to explain Jayne? What words were there to explain the massive 6'4 titan that was his lover? Could he possibly explain to their satisfaction that he had learned to memorize the heavy footfalls of the mercenary, had cataloged the different tones of the man's voice, and even started sharing the occasional shirts with him? He remembered, with some amusement, the expression on Mal's face when he caught Simon wearing one of Jayne's very well-worn green t-shirts.

He wasn't the son they knew. He had changed and the crew of the Serenity was the first to admit that. Simon had tried to keep his distance at first, to maintain who he'd thought he was, but it had seeped away by necessity. He'd found that his loyalty to River had run far deeper than he'd expected, and some of the actions he took surprising. He hadn't even _thought_ that there was any other option except to tackle Early. It had been instinct, something he had done in a split second. He also found that he enjoyed lounging around in 'normal' clothes as Jayne put it. He rarely wore his button-down shirts and slacks that he had brought with him. Jayne had slowly been adding more clothes and most of them would horrify his parents at what they looked like, not even caring that they were often very comfortable.

He hadn't realized that his silent introspection had lasted through the quick bandaging of Zoe's gash and that he was alone, his hands instinctively organizing the tools he'd used in the med bay. Shaking his head, he moved to the guest room that he'd occupied for so long.

"When are you going to just move into my bunk permanently?"

Simon nearly hit the ceiling in surprise. Jayne had moved like a cat; he hadn't even heard a whisper or creak of leather! Arms slid around him from behind and he automatically leaned back into them. "What?"

"I said, when are you just going to move into my bunk permanently? You spend almost every day there anyway and your stuff is still there when Mal made us bunk together."

He didn't answer because he didn't know when. He didn't even know why he kept coming back to this room. Maybe it was because he wasn't used to sharing a room with anyone. He'd always had his own room as a kid, even if River occasionally slept in his at night with him. He'd had his own apartment when he was a doctor and lived by himself. He'd never shared a room with anyone before on a permanent basis and he was finding it hard to let go. Jayne was right, he spent six out of seven days in his lover's bunk, but always on that seventh day, he would come back here. The room was empty, so it wasn't an object. It didn't look like anyone stayed in the room at all. River seemed to enjoy going from room to room, spending her time sleeping with Kaylee or Inara or alone. Even Zoe or Mal would occasionally let her stay with them.

"You knew about the message from my parents?" he asked instead.

There was a conspicuous silence from behind him. "I just happened to be there when it arrived."

"And you didn't tell me?"

"Cap'n said not to, that he wanted to talk to you first."

Simon couldn't tell if he was angry at Jayne or not for not telling him. Mal had brought it up perhaps the best way he could, but there really was no good way of telling him. He leaned back completely until Jayne was holding his entire weight and stared vacantly in front of him. "I don't know if I want to see them, but I also don't want to regret not doing so either."

"Ya got time, you know. Don't have to make a decision immediately. Anyway, I have somethin' I want to talk to you about."

Oh now what?

Simon tilted his head back and looked up Jayne. "What is it?"

"Well...since we're talkin' families and all...I wanted you to meet mine."

Meet...Jayne's family? Simon tried to conjure up what it might be like, but even knowing what he did about them, all he could imagine was just a lot of Jayne's. "Really? You don't think...I mean...how would they react?"

Jayne shrugged. "Don't know. They might be disappointed a little at first." Seeing Simon's look, Jayne hurried to continue before the doctor got upset. "It ain't nothin' to do with you, Simon, just how it is out there. Usually got to be with women 'cause there ain't a lot of choice. More kids mean more people to work. And also, well...ever heard that phrase 'salt of the earth'? Rough and tumble people live out there, work hard in the dirt and plenty of injuries and rough hands and tan skins. It's the expectation out there, Simon."

Simon pulled from his arms, not sure how to feel about that. They came from wildly different worlds. He had no right to be upset at Jayne since his own parents would be the same way. They'd _expect_ a pretty and gentile girl, not 'rough and tumble' Jayne.

"I... I'm sorry, Simon, I shouldn't have said that..." Jayne roughly scratched at his beard, looking like he was desperately searching for words to fix it.

"It's okay, Jayne. I appreciate the honesty," he answered truthfully. "It's...hard to hear, that's all, and my parents would feel the same as yours: the expectation for my family would not be you either. The question is, though...do you care?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you care if you're not the expectation to my family?"

"Hell no," Jayne told him, shoving his hands into his pockets and slouching against the wall. "They're hwan dahns! ...Sorry," he added after.

Simon let the insult slide. "That's the difference, Jayne. You don't care. I do. I care that I'm not up to their expectations. Your family is important to you and--"

A rough hand cupping his chin silenced him. He hadn't even realized that his head had been tilting down, staring at the floor. Jayne had a smile on his face. Why?

The question must have been obvious on his face. "I'm happy you care, Simon, but I don't. I love 'em, but their expectations don't make a bit of diff'rence to me. You're still the guy."

"If...If you're sure..."

"Yah, I'm sure. 'Course...they'll fuss anyway."

"Why?"

"'Cause you'll be the first I ever brought home to meet 'em. They know that means it's serious."

...No pressure at all, Simon thought and sighed.

~!~!~!~!~

They touched down on Jayne's home planet about a week later. While it didn't appear as if the crew had been there before, they fit right in so quickly that Simon felt even more out of place. He had taken Jayne's advice for clothes and had not worn anything fancy. River found everything fascinating and he stuck to her side like a burr, both for her sake and his own nerves. It was a small town, he noted, and it was as if everyone who didn't have a job currently filed out to see who was in the ship. Jayne's grin was big and he greeted everyone who came close by name.

"Jayne Cobb!"

The strident voice lanced over the chatter and he and the crew's eyes were drawn to a figure standing there with her hands on her hips. She looked angry at first, but then smiled widely. Simon, good with faces, recognized her instantly: that was Jayne's oldest sister. Her clothes, shirt and pants, were working types with a rough fabric.

"Josie!"

"What are you doing here, Jayne?" she asked as he grabbed her up in a hug and even lifted her off the ground.

"Wanted to introduce you and Ma to some people."

"You're just in time. Dannie's wedding is in five days."

"Really? Got good timing then."

Josie gave him a look. "Why do I get the feeling that you knew that all along and your visit was hardly coincidental?" She shook her head. "Nevermind, come home!"

They waded through the throng of people in town to a house on the outskirts. It was bigger than Simon expected, a two story house. Of course it looked in a state of disrepair and more than a little 'ramshackle', but it appeared quite sturdy for all that.

"Uncle Jayne! It's Uncle Jayne!"

The first boy to reach Jayne was the eldest one, who had longer legs. He was barreling at full force and Jayne snatched him up without breaking the rhythm. "Hey, Sammy!" A smaller hand grabbed Jayne's pant leg and the big man pretended to not see, asking the boy in his arms. "Where's your brother Jeremy?"

"Down here, pick me up too!"

"There ya are! Yer so short, I didn't even see ya!"

"Uncle Jayne!" the boy whined and Jayne laughed, picking up the other boy too.

"You two are heavy!" He carried them a foot or two before setting them down, much to their loud-voice complaints. Josie gave them a 'behave now' sort of glare and once they noticed it, their protests died quickly.

Simon hardly heard the chatter from those around him with Jayne's family. Josie was having a lively conversation with Mal and Zoe and Kaylee was showering attention on the two boys who soaked it up like dry sponges.

A delighted older voice sounded from the doorway. "Jayne!"

"Hey, Ma!"

Simon stared. He couldn't help it. Jayne was so tall that he had half-expected... His lover _dwarfed_ the older woman. She had laugh-wrinkles all over her face and she was doing just that as Jayne lifted her up in his bearhug. It must have been Jayne's father that had the height then. In fact, all her children were surprisingly tall.

"Are you coming?"

He blinked, turning his attention to Kaylee. He and her were the only ones still outside and he had completely failed to notice. "Oh... Yes, of course."

"You're nervous, aren't you?"

"I...can't deny it. To be perfectly honest, I'm petrified," he said quietly.

"Don't worry, we'll be here." She reached out and tugged his hand, pulling him inside. The sun was starting to set now. He hadn't realized that they had arrived on the planet that late; it hadn't taken them that long to get through the town and to the house.

It was noisy inside, the kind of noise that Simon was just not used to. Even meal times on the Serenity were not like this. This was sheer chaos and yet when he watched it, it all somehow made sense. Everyone knew they had a role to play and they were fulfilling that role amid other people and somehow avoided making everything grind to a halt. Sammy and Jeremy ran about underfoot despite their mother's scolding; Jayne's mother commandeered the kitchen to cook; Josie was counting people and studying the plates and utensils situation. All of that being done amid loud voices talking. It would be enough to drive Simon mad, used to quiet dinners with his family and little conversation.

Someone bumped into him from behind and he heard a quiet and slightly reserved voice say 'Sorry'. He shifted closer to Kaylee and River to let the man pass. Said man kissed Josie on the cheek and quickly retreated into another room. He heard Jayne say that was her husband, as if that wasn't obvious, but the name escaped him in the noise. After that, it was a parade of people entering. Jayne had a large family that was only made worse with the entire Serenity crew deciding to stick around for dinner. Josie's husband and Dannie's fiance, a girl who was actually quite pretty and probably of similar height to her mother, were sent next door to grab another table and ended up coming back with two. Of all Jayne's family, the youngest daughter Jamie most resembled her brother. She was tall, though not as tall as Josie, and had a muscular build and short hair.

What was it with the 'J' names? Was it accidental or done on purpose?

Inside was also where he first saw 'Mattie'. He was unclear in what relation the girl was to Jayne, be it sister or niece. He could never get a straight answer from his lover. Sometimes at night he dreamed that maybe she was actually Jayne's daughter. It wouldn't be out of the realm of possibility, given Jayne's sexual behavior. Yet watching Jayne now, Simon didn't think she was. Before he had a chance to ask, Mal did.

"We've heard a lot about Mattie from Jayne," the Captain said, raising his voice to be heard. "Whose daughter is she?"

"Mine," answered Theresa, Jayne's mother. "We adopted her few years back. Poor girl's parents were in an accident and didn't make it!"

Simon's attention was caught nearby, diverted from the conversation about Mattie, and he watched as Dannie's fiance grew tongue-tied when he talked to Inara. Inara didn't have many 'simple' dresses, though she tried not to be out of place.

"Congratulations on your engagement," Inara told him.

"Th-Thank you."

"Hey, hey!" Jayne's voice was loud as he tried to get everyone's attention. "Get everyone in here, I got an announcement!"

Simon had a damn good guess what this was about and it was only thanks to Kaylee and River each grabbing an arm that he didn't attempt to sidle behind someone bigger than him, like Mal and Zoe.

"Sammy, find your brother and go get your Dad from the living room!" Josie commanded as Jamie went hunting for Dannie.

"What's all this about?" Theresa asked, sitting down in the chair at the head of the table and allowing Mattie, who appeared to be around five, crawl in her lap.

Jayne waited until everyone was in the room and seated, Josie hushing her two children. It was the first time that silence had descended since Simon had stepped into the house and for him, it was a blessed relief. He was used to chaos in the emergency room, but that was somehow _different_ than it was here. He was comfortable in medical chaos; he was not comfortable at all in this sort of situation, with a room that was full to bursting with sixteen people in it, including himself.

Once everyone was present and seated, Jayne's eyes met Simon's. Contrary to what Simon expected, Jayne didn't pull him forward to him; instead, he beckoned, as if hoping that Simon would choose to stand next to him. Simon's eyes flickered back at those watching and then at his lover, but it wasn't until River kicked his heel hard that he moved forward. Jayne's strong arm slipped around his back and Simon felt a blush come to his cheeks. He could feel the crew of the Serenity forming an almost half-circle behind them in a show of support. Mal leaned his hip against the table, watching Jayne's family, as if trying to determine what they were thinking.

"Wanted you to meet the crew I work with and Simon. We're datin'."

Simon waited for more, but nothing came. That was it? That was the only introduction Jayne was going to give? No explaining the circumstances, no explaining what his profession was, not even saying a word about their feelings? No preamble even? Simon had always known that Jayne was blunt, but wasn't that a little too blunt?

The expected outburst didn't come. There was no loud condemnation. There was...nothing at all. There were more than a few glances at Theresa and his attention shifted to her. Obviously whatever she said, how she answered this proclamation, would set the tone for the rest of the family.

"Well?" Jayne prodded, sounding a bit annoyed.

Theresa shifted forward and her eyes looked Simon up and down. "It's the first time you've brought anyone home, Jayne."

"So?"

"So this is a big deal," Josie answered. "You could have at least warned us first that you were bringing someone."

"I shouldn't have to," Jayne argued. His eyes narrowed. "This ain't gonna turn into one of those things 'cause he's a guy, is it?"

Theresa glared at him. "What do you take this household for, Jayne Cobb? We are not so shallow-minded as that! You have been in space too long, young man, and among a bad crowd if you think we would be that bigoted!"

"I hope you're not referring to us as the bad crowd," Mal quipped with a grin, clearly hoping to diffuse the tension.

"I don't know, Captain," she replied with little inflection in her voice. "What do _you_ think of this?"

"I'll be honest with you, I'm surprised at them. Simon here is our medic and he's damn good, but you might say that he's a...bit different from our Jayne here. I didn't expect it to last more than a week or two at best." Those soulful eyes looked at Jayne and Simon. "And here it is, months later and they're still together. Simon's all but moved into Jayne's bunk. I didn't expect it, not at all." He turned back to Theresa. "I didn't like it at first, but not because it's sly. Shipboard romances complicate things. I wanted it to end, but Jayne here did something I hadn't expected: he stood up and fought for Simon, even when I made it clear my orders. Wasn't much I could do about it short of tossing one of them out an airlock and I'll be damned if it hasn't made a difference. Never seen either of them so happy before. Jayne's as loyal as I ever seen a man be and Simon actually _smiles_."

Theresa's gaze turned from Mal to Simon and he steeled his nerve. He'd broken River out of an Alliance facility and fought overwhelming odds against Reavers. How difficult could it be to face Jayne's mother? That's what he told himself, but it was surprisingly difficult. For all her height, she was a tough woman in will. "Come sit here next to me, Simon. Jayne, you can sit next to Jamie."

Jamie, who was on the farthest end of the table.

"But Ma--"

"No buts," Theresa told him firmly. "I want to talk to Simon."

River, who had been surprisingly quiet up to this point, murmured, "Don't argue. Makes bad impression."

"Right at that, girl," Jayne's mother replied.

Despite clearly wanting to argue, Jayne reluctantly obeyed his mother. Simon sat down next to Theresa and was surprised to find Mal taking the empty chair on his right before anyone else could. Though he doubted Mal would interject anything into the conversation, just the presence of the man was enough to bolster his nerves.

"So you're a doctor then."

"Yes," he answered, though it hardly needed one. Food was passed around the table much like on the Serenity. Simon didn't have much of a stomach for food, considering it felt as if it was tying up in knots, but he didn't want to seem rude either to not take any. So he took what he could without seeming to insult and no more.

"You're not from the border planets, are you?" she asked, flicking a glance at his hands.

Well, given Jayne's family, he wanted to make a good first impression, so lying was out. At the same time, he wasn't thrilled with the idea of letting it be known that he and his sister were fugitives. "I'm not. I was born on Osiris."

"That's a long way from here."

"It is, yes."

"Why did you leave?"

Before he could formulate an answer to that without lying, Mal came to his rescue and met the old woman's eyes fearlessly. "That is a long, involving story best left for another time. This is a happy occasion with your daughter's wedding and the introduction of your son's partner. In depth and sad tales should be set aside for now."

After a minute, she nodded. "You're right at that, Captain. It's also prying and I apologize." Theresa smiled for the first time since the news was uttered. It was small, but it was there. "Terry, dear, have you decided who your best man is?"

Terry, Dannie's husband, looked up and finished his bite of chicken before answering. He was definitely the 'odd man out', much like Simon. Unlike the other men in the room, Terry was slim and not as muscular as the family he was marrying into. "My brother Aiken will do it."

"I want Kaylee to be one of my bridesmaids!" Dannie announced, emerging from a 'deep' conversation with Kaylee.

"I'm still maid-of-honor, right?" Jamie asked, leaning in.

"Of course!"

Simon let the conversations wash over him, eventually tuning them out. He answered whatever question Jayne's mother asked him, but it was very hard to think around all the noise. He excused himself once dinner was slowly starting to wind down and slipped as quietly as he could outside. The wind was cool. He'd been warned that the days were very warm and the nights very cool here, but he hadn't thought to bring a jacket.

"I take it that it's too noisy in there for you?"

He turned, seeing Josie. "I'm not used to it."

"Not many are. The Cobbs is, technically, the biggest family in town. Not in money, but in size, particularly if you're including by-marriage relations." She gestured at two chairs nearby. One was a rocking chair, which Josie claimed.

Simon sat down, put a little more at ease with her relaxed posture and attitude.

"My Cal was like you too. He was an only child and his Ma passed away in childbirth. He all but ran screaming for the door first time he met the family. Jayne, o'course, didn't help matters when he immediately challenged him to a fight. To this day, any time Cal and Jayne 'fight', it's always a standoff. Nobody actually wins."

"It's almost hard to believe," he commented. "Jayne is a great fighter and he works out a lot."

"Don't let Ma's attitude fool you," Josie told him, pulling a flask out of her pocket and taking a swig. It was slipped back in her pocket just as quickly. "She's like that with everyone. Cal, Terry... She's a big softie, for the most part, unless she doesn't like you. Friends of her kids she treats just like her kids, but she knows the damage someone datin' her kids can do to them."

Simon watched as Josie put her feet up on the railing surrounding the covered porch they sat on. "I sense a story there?"

"You could say that, but like your Captain said: it ain't the time for sad tales. Got Dannie's wedding coming up and you're here to meet us all." Josie finally turned to look at him. "Don't mean to make you work on a visit, but before you leave, could you look at our boys and Mattie?"

He was a trauma surgeon, not a regular doctor, but he'd had to take many roles in the past and it didn't bother him. "Of course. I hope you don't mind if I'd like to do it in med bay on Serenity? It has more equipment there."

"Not at all. Now, back inside with ya. Jayne will be wondering where you are."

He stood up, pausing in the doorway when she didn't follow. "Are you--"

"I'll be in soon," she replied, not moving. From the look of her, Josie had not had an easy past and Simon politely left her with her thoughts.

The wedding went off without a hitch and all the crew dressed up as much as their wardrobe would allow. Between Kaylee and Inara, Dannie was a wonder to behold. Given her features, despite what he'd heard of her legendary toughness of beating up Jayne, she looked exactly the type that his parents would expect him to bring home. Simon had met some beautiful women in his life, both in looks and personality. Kaylee was definitely at the top of the charts in that, no doubt. Yet it was _Jayne_ , the 'lumbering oaf', 'the man ape gone wrong thing', that had attracted him the most. It was both physical and mental. Once he got past the barriers, once they'd started talking, it had been almost inevitable. Simon had honestly never been happier.

"Well that was nice of them," Mal commented as they broke atmo into space. He seemed to be enjoying watching Kaylee put away the donated food from Jayne's family. Was Simon the only one that was concerned that after such big meals when they stayed with them, and the wedding, how much food they had left? Perhaps it would be all right; he did remember seeing Jayne hand over some money to his mother...

"I think it turned out well."

Simon paused as he left the galley, spotting Jayne coming his way. "The wedding?"

"Well that, but everything. They loved ya, Simon."

Jayne didn't lie to him that Simon could find, so he took his lover's word for it. True, by the end of the visit, Jayne's family had been far warmer than he had any right to expect. He reached out and pulled his lover closer, stealing a kiss. The goatee was rough on his skin, but he was used to that.

"Did you like them?"

"I did," he answered, letting Jayne pull him toward wherever he wanted him to.

"Now..."

"Now what?"

"Time to get you undressed."

Simon snorted. "Oh really?"

"Yeah. You think Ma would let me so much as touch you like that in her house with two of her grandkids staying over?"

"Well I suppose I can see her point. You're not exactly quiet."

"Me?" Jayne closed the hatch behind them and his fingers immediately went for Simon's shirt. "Yer the one always makin' lots of noise!"

"Hardly," he teased back.

"Shall I prove it to you, baobei?" Jayne whispered heatedly in his ear.

"You'd best, otherwise I won't believe you."

"Fair warning you won't be walking anywhere for awhile."

"I wouldn't expect anything less," Simon told him honestly with a smile.

~!~!~!~!~

"You're sure?"

"I am," Simon answered.

Mal nodded after a minute. "I'll talk to them then so they can get a message to your mother."

"One other thing."

"What?"

"I want to do this alone."

Mal's eyebrows rose to his hairline. "Simon, I don't think that's a good idea. What about--"

"Alone," he stated firmly. "Just in case it somehow turned into a trap, I don't want River there. Secondly, well...it's not that I don't want the crew and Jayne to meet my mother. It's that I don't know if it will be _just_ my mother. My father is vocal, to say the least and he'll either be glad to see me...or he'll be saying some very unpleasant things. I'd rather no one on the ship hear it and be caused undue grief. I have other reasons besides that, but those are my main reasons."

"I don't like that idea, Simon."

"And Jayne will like it even less. However, I'd ask that you respect my wishes, Captain."

Mal sighed and shook his head. "Fine, fine."

Simon was skeptical, but he hoped Mal kept his word. His Captain could be stubborn and may do something stupid, like follow or hide out during the meeting. He just didn't need to make the situation anymore explosive than it likely already would be.

As he stepped out of the cockpit and down the stairs, he found a wall of muscle blocking him. Jayne had his arms crossed and by his glare, it was obvious that he'd heard it. Simon sighed. "I'm not trying to hide you, Jayne. I'd be proud to tell them we're dating, but there's a lot more involved than this. It's not just about introducing you; it's about the fact that I was disowned. It's about the fact that they never believed me about River. One thing at a time."

"I'm not letting you walk into that viper pit, 'specially if there's a chance yer old hwan dan old man could be there."

"Jayne, I don't want you there. Period."

"Don't care."

Simon glared, starting to fume. "Jayne, if you love me at all, let me do this _my way_."

"Shagua! What if it's a trap, huh? I ain't lettin' some Alliance soldiers get their hands on you!"

"I know you're worried. So am I. But I'm doing this without you, Jayne."

Jayne growled under his breath, looking truly angry at him, before spinning on his heel without another word.

~!~!~!~!~

The door wasn't locked and Simon opened it cautiously. The first person he saw was his mother, dressed in black and sitting by the window. Standing next to her, all but pacing while still standing in one spot, was his father. He honestly hadn't thought his father would show up. Had his mother not told him that she was going to meet him?

"Hello, Mother. Father."

Gabriel's head whipped around. It was impossible for Simon to tell whether he was surprised to see him or not. Regan smiled in what he assumed was utter relief. "Simon!" She held out her arms.

Simon didn't step forward to hug her. It wasn't that he didn't want to, but that he suddenly remembered all the bitter feelings he'd had toward them when he'd tried to help his sister. Even the action of his mother holding out her arms didn't feel very warm. Contrasting Jayne's home with the warm hues, mostly earthy brown, the room had cool colors, like his family had been: affectionate to a point, but also very 'elegant'. There were no rowdy times, there were no 'let's cook in the kitchen together' like Mattie and Theresa.

"You asked to see me?"

His father's face was set in stone, which could mean a lot. Regan's expression faltered a little at the almost cold reception from her son. "We'd like to talk."

"We...or just you?" he asked.

"Apparently being away from home out on the fringes hasn't done your manners much good," Gabriel said stiffly.

Simon had to throttle down a lot of replies to that, mostly ones he'd picked up from Jayne. He resisted the urge to ball his hand into a fist in anger when those critical eyes looked him up and down in the loose shirt and pants that he wore. No button down, no vest, no freshly pressed slacks and shined shoes.

Regan glared at her husband and then turned back to her son. " _We_ wanted to talk," she repeated, even though it was obvious to all three of them there that none of this had been Gabriel's idea. "River--"

"Is safe," he answered. "I got her out and she's safe now."

"Where is she?"

Simon didn't answer. Mal had done a sweep of the perimeter of the hotel and no one had been there, but what if the room was bugged? He couldn't take that chance with River's life and safety.

Regan shifted awkwardly. "Please sit, Simon. Give us a chance to talk, to explain."

He was reluctant at first. Part of Simon wanted to make this meeting as short as possible, but his mother's eyes were so pleading that he found himself sitting down anyway.

"Where are you living now?"

"I'm a medic on a ship," he answered. "It keeps me quite busy and the crew is friendly. I've...well I've made a home there."

"I'm happy in that case."

"I've also..." Regan's ears perked up a little at his awkward hesitation. "I'm also in a relationship. Jayne is--"

Reagan smiled. "I bet she's a sweet girl."

"Actually, no. Jayne isn't sweet, so much as... Well, he's rough around the edges, but that's part of his charm, I guess."

"Oh. Well--wait, he?"

"Yes, Mother. Jayne is a man."

There was that awkward silence, but unlike at Jayne's house of just shock, this silence was unpleasant. They didn't like what they heard one bit. His father was all but silently bristling at the knowledge that Simon was dating a man.

"O-Oh. W-Well...he must have some good qualities, if you're with him, Simon."

Bless his mother's heart, she was _trying_ to make this visit work, but it wouldn't. This couldn't be a normal 'how are you' reunion. Simon sighed. "I'm aware this is not what you wanted to hear, but I'm not ashamed of Jayne. I love him."

Gabriel would never stoop to utter flagrant words or curses, but Simon could sense an angry tirade coming on despite that. He braced himself, because this wasn't going to be pretty at all. "I didn't think it could get any worse than when you left, but somehow it did."

"From my vantage point, things have gotten _better_ ," Simon snapped and stood up so he could more easily look his father in the eye. "It's shameful that before the crew of the ship I'm on were even close friends, they were willing to fight for me when my own father wouldn't even _listen_ because he's more concerned with _other people's_ opinions!"

"Don't take that tone with me, boy!"

"I'm not a boy!" he spat back. "I grew up when you weren't looking and you can't stand that!"

"What I can't stand is your tsway-niou--"

"Now there's no need for language like that, is there?"

Simon's head snapped toward the door so fast that it gave him whiplash. Mal's hands were lightly clenching the leather pistol belt at his waist. His face was calm, but not serene. There was an unhappy look in his eyes. With his usual attire, he looked very out of place in the pristine room and with his parents' high-class clothes. As he casually stepped in, Zoe followed with her back ramrod straight and a disapproving look on Gabriel and Reagan. With a sinking heart, Simon expected the next person and was not disappointed. Jayne was the last to enter the room and he looked fit to be tied.

"Captain, what are you--"

"So you're the captain of this ship he's on."

"That I am," Mal answered Gabriel's unhappy voice. "Captain Malcom Reynolds. This is my first mate Zoe and...Jayne." Just by the way Mal said it, it was obvious that he knew that Simon had already dropped Jayne's name and relationship.

Even Reagan's impeccable manners could not contain her surprise as she gasped, " _That's_ Jayne? As in..."

"Yes, Mother. As in Jayne, my partner. Boyfriend. Lover. Whatever you want to call it, that's him."

Jayne, armed to the teeth, crossed his muscled arms and glared. At least he hadn't brought Vera. Simon didn't really want to know how three armed people managed to get all way the way to the seventh floor of the hotel without alerting security.

"Captain, what are you _doing_ here?" Simon hissed, livid that they had disregarded his wishes even though part of him knew that this wasn't unusual. He had half-expected it.

"Sorry for barging in, doctor. I know you said you wanted to handle this on your own, but Jayne here was a mite concerned at the meeting. Come to mention it, so was I. Our apologies." Just by the nonchalant way the last two words were said, Simon knew that Mal wasn't sorry one bit. He had done what he felt was necessary and clearly felt he was right to do so. Mal's attention turned to Gabriel and Reagan. "I hate to cut this meeting short, but I have to borrow your son--"

"He is not my son!"

"Gabriel!"

Gabriel tilted his head angrily. "The last time I saw _my son_ , he was set to take over as Head of Surgery at AMI. My _son_ was a brilliant doctor and had a bright future. My _son_ was eager and ready to learn. He cared about his appearance. His passion was surgery, the hospital. _My_ son brought home a sweet, respectful girl to meet us." There was a hefty pause and Gabriel cleared his throat twice before continuing as he tried to compose himself. "My son was a respectful, loving, and smart person who would never throw his life away on the basis of some crazy conspiracy theory! The person before me is not my son. I lost my son long ago. The man before me is nothing to me."

Every word stabbed Simon's heart. Even as he could see Gabriel's eyes become watery as he turned his head away to look out the window, even as Reagan whirled around to berate her husband, Simon felt the floor fall away beneath him. Is this really how his father saw him? Did he really feel that the son he had raised was no longer there? Sure Simon had changed, but not _that_ much, had he? He let out a shaky breath in a 'whoosh', as if he had forgotten to breathe.

"You--"

"Jayne!"

Simon's own watery eyes glanced over, seeing Jayne put his half-drawn gun back in its holster at Mal's authoritative voice. The Captain gave a silent nod toward Simon and the mercenary gently drew the doctor from his parents.

"That's a shame," Mal replied, "because Simon Tam is a very worthwhile person. Since you're no longer willing to be family to him, we're quite willing to be that for him. Aren't we?" Mal's eyes never wavered from Gabriel Tam, who wouldn't look at anyone.

"Of course," Zoe added immediately.

"Hell yeah!" Jayne spat, pulling Simon in close even though he struggled a bit to not appear weak.

"That's not what--Gabriel--He's just stubborn..." Reagan's words floundered and failed.

"If you will excuse us." Jayne, urging Simon with him, left first, then Zoe. Mal lingered a moment more shook his head at them. "Let it never be said that you lost him. You gave him up."

Simon somehow wasn't surprised to see River outside the door and leaning against the wall. Her face was solemn, but not upset. She knew that her father's words bothered Simon far more than her. She gathered him up in her arms and as the door closed, the faintest echos of Reagan's words of 'I wish I had never brought you with me!' floated out. River linked her arm with her brother's after a minute and held his hand all the way back to the mule.

~!~!~!~!~

"I told you I didn't want you there!" Simon yelled at them as they entered the cargo bay to Kaylee and Inara waiting for them.

"I don't let my crew go into fights without backup."

"It wasn't a fight!" he spat back at Mal as he climbed down from the mule.

"That _wasn't_ a fight? It may have been done 'polite' and verbal, all core-like, but that was a fight. It may not have involved guns, but I know what I saw and he was about to tear into you."

"I could handle it by myself!"

"I'm sure you could, Simon, but you're missing the point."

"What point?!"

"You shouldn't have to. There is no harm or shame in relying on friends and family."

Simon knew that Mal was right; he would have said the same thing if the situation were reversed. He had just never been the type of person to _accept_ help. He was stubborn in his own way and wanted to do things on his own. He had been convinced he could handle it, but he hadn't been prepared for his father's own bitterness. In hindsight, perhaps Gabriel's rejection also stemmed from the fact that he felt guilty for not helping him, but Simon just didn't know.

"I take it that it went badly then," Kaylee said in the ensuing silence.

The doctor turned and stalked to the infirmary, but Jayne was right on his heels. Not even Mal would dare bother Simon at a time like that, but Jayne was never the type to let things like that go so easily. The door slammed shut behind them.

"I need to be alone, Jayne."

"We gotta talk. You're upset about us followin' ya."

"I thought that was made _abundantly_ clear just now."

"Well I ain't sorry for doin' it, Simon. Like you said, it wasn't just about us. It was about yer sis, it was about you. I mighta left it alone if it was _just_ 'bout us. You were gonna need help and I wasn't gonna let you do it alone." There was a pause. "It hurt when you said I couldn't come. Not 'cause I thought you were ashamed, but 'cause I want you to rely on me. I like that you can stand on your own most of the time, but I want you to rely on me when you can't do it on your own. You weren't doin' that. Facing down yer family is a lot tougher than killin' people, 'specially in that situation."

Simon took a few deep breaths. "He was hurting too. It hurt him to say--"

"Don't care if it hurt him," Jayne told him, lifting up Simon's chin to look into his watery eyes. "I care that it hurt you."

He hated breaking down, but with Jayne giving him that _look_ , it was impossible not to. "You won't tell anyone about this?"

Jayne shook his head.

Simon hiccuped once or twice as he cried, buried in Jayne's arms. He didn't know what his mother would do, whether she would attempt to contact him again in the future. At least he _knew_ for sure that his father would never accept him. He had always thought they'd had a good relationship. He had always thought his father understood him. If he had, wouldn't he have seen Simon's motivations for what he did? Wouldn't he have seen that Simon would have gone to the same lengths to save his parents? Simon's family had always come first in his heart before his career despite the fact that he loved being a surgeon and what he did. Did Gabriel feel that Simon had somehow let him down the way that Simon felt his parents had let him down?

"You thinkin' stupid stuff again?" Jayne asked quietly as they lay in bed that night, naked after some very soft, loving sex.

"Probably," Simon answered quietly as fingers were gently combing through his hair.

"Well stop that. Like Mal said: crew's your family now."

"I'd hope _we_ weren't family in that way," he teased with a ghost of a smile even if he didn't feel much like it.

"Nah, that'd be gross. I like sexin' ya way too much ta be family." The moment of levity passed and Jayne turned his head, kissing Simon's forehead. "I'm here."

"I know. Thank you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> baobei: sweetheart  
>  shagua: fool, damned fool, idiot  
>  hwun dan: bastard  
>  tsway-niou: bullcrap


End file.
